April Burt's Blog
Boiler room also frustrations / 05.22.08, 01:07 PM
Seeing you on the picnic bench knocked out at 11 at night…seeing you falling asleep on the porch…cant hold your head up,seeing you, your nails painted while you were drunk the night before, living in a college world..only its not that way anymore…you have lost everything…seeing you a few days ago…sober then you’re gone. Seeing you sober for longer than that, my brother…my friend who chose the bottle and not His rest, his realism. Is this the life? Do you want, desire…more than anything to leave or to stay? You say you want to be sober…I’m not sure.
The more I see how this works, the more my heart sinks, the more I see manipulation of this addiction…the more I see Love people need but they are too scared to seek…Love is scary in and of its self and to dump a addiction in order to feel anything…I’m surprized some of these people come to the love feast. Its true, sin…self gratification leads to self destruction and death. To some extent, I truly believe we have all seen this personally but-to see a 30 year old who looks 50…to see a woman who has been beat up by gangs and pit bulls yet sings praises to a God who loves her more than she will ever know (and she probably does not know in the least bit what these words really, really mean)…to see one walk away from two men because he “believes in God, he is a polish catholic, he just does not want to be preached at” To hear “We need to smile about something” on a morning walk…or to see one who was sober for three weeks…be so lit up he cannot make it to the back yard…changes me.
More and more it makes me angry alchohol can be used as a poison the enemy entices one with, God and his word can be twisted into nothing more than a guilt trip by words spoken to me and others in order to get what they want, Love can be mis-constrewed into this addiction or drug, people taking advantage of the goodness which goes on here. More and more I get mad at the basis of religion and wish everyone knew a relationship with God is more possible than before realized…to some extent I wonder why God isn’t working faster…these people seem to be incredibly broken yet not enough to bow to God and I get a little angry…but I need to remember He is. He won’t make us into Robots…so I’m sure He is revealing himself everyday, the offer just isn’t taken.
God…help
me
Learn to
help your people…because
These are your
people.
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haha, that’s so funny! i’m not exactly FROM carson city, but i was there alot in highschool. i was on butternut’s basketball team and alot of us played at open gym at carson’s highschool during the week in the mornings, so that’s how i know alan. i live in grand rapids with my wife of 8 months now, but i’m from crystal. : )
By John Watson / May 22, 07:50 PM / #