Ashley Pharis
Keepin' it REAL with Mission Year
My name is Ashley Pharis, I’m 23 years old from Goshen, Indiana. After graduating from college with a degree in Speech Pathology, I decided that I wanted to take some time out to volunteer my time and services to underprviliged communities before going onto grad school. After a year of working and applying to various organizations (mainly African orphanages) I randomly find myself headed to Chicago to serve in the inner city (not my original intentions/desire/area AT ALL). But when a random acquaintence (now friend) told me about his year volunteering with Mission Year, I thought I’d check it out because it seemed to align very closely with my ideals and how I want to live out my faith and love for others. And now, here I am, two weeks away from moving to “the Windy City” with a complete peace about starting this new adventure in understanding poverty/social injustices/etc. I am so excited to get started and get my hands and feet dirty in the messy business of loving and serving people exactly where they are at.
About Mission Year
Mission Year is a year long urban ministry program focused on Christian service and discipleship. We take teams of young people, place them in an area of need, and help them to serve people and create community. We are committed to the command of Jesus to “love God and love people,” by placing the needs of our neighbors first and developing committed disciples of Christ with a heart for the poor. Learn more about our first year program…
Ashley Pharis's Blog
The Space Between / Aug 26, 09:29 AM
I don’t know about you, but I often hear my parents and people in their general age-range talk about the days when “it was all they could do to make ends meet for our family.” Some of us may have experienced this ourselves, during penny-less college days, or first years of marriage. Selling products on Etsy.com. Donating bone marrow. Joining online survey groups or secret shopping. (Actually, now that I write this, this sounds kind of fun. Well minus the bone marrow part). Anything we could do to make a little extra cash to get by and sleep well at night.
My husband’s mom was talking about this a couple weeks ago. When she mentioned their nostalgic and troublesome time of “making ends meet” she did this thing with her hands that made me think. With both of her hands she made a thumbs up sign, but she pointed her thumbs at each other horizontally, moving them back and forth, making the ends of her thumbs meet and then separating them. It was the space between her thumbs that struck me.
There is something sacred in that space between. Where ends don’t meet and uncertainties lie. When we don’t quite know what’s going to happen next, how we will pay a bill, eat our next meal, find our footing. It may just be there this thing called kairos happens. Kairos is an ancient greek word meaning the right or opportune time. I’ve heard Christian culture describe it as when Heaven and Earth meet in time and place. Our friends at Wikipedia offer, “a moment of undetermined period of time in which something special happens.”
This space between is often when we seek God the most, for answers, comfort, even miracles. It probably shouldn’t be that way, but let’s admit it, for many of us, it is. It is the time when we practice seeing with Kingdom eyes a whole lot more. When God’s grace and faithfulness isn’t a distant thought or philosophy, but the stuff that we get by on.
I want to be thankful for that space, to pray for that space. Maybe making ends meet isn’t the point. We get to practice our faith a whole lot more when they don’t. I like that. Maybe Dave Matthews was onto something more than a hit song after all.
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Strategic Neighboring--Do I got the skills? / Aug 26, 09:29 AM
Several months ago, a friend asked us what our plan was for outreach in our neighborhood. I was a little taken off guard by this. He said, “Will you do youth work, start a recreation club, what?” My response was, “Um, I don’t know, be a good neighbor?”
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, our presence and impact, our supposed “ministry” approach, in the neighborhood that my husband and I (and our sweet, sweet pup) live in. When we were on the house-hunt a year ago, we focused on a specific type of neighborhood due to the convictions on our hearts and faiths to be a good neighbor. We believe WHERE we chose to live is a ministry in itself. Loosely and generally put, we want to see redemption, we want to see freedom from bondage, we want to see God’s transformation in the places that are most often overlooked or avoided by choosing to live our daily lives there. We are “strategic neighbors” as fellow believer and community developer Bob Lupton would say.
But what does that mean? At times I don’t know, I really have no idea. Some days, it feels like we are getting nowhere. Like “strategic” is more for the people with God-given visions and long-time career goals they decided on when they were six years old. Like the transformation that we hope to see in this place is a wasteful thought unless you have a successful program model and lots of money or connections. I wonder if I don’t have what it takes to see or contribute to this transformation, if I lack the drive and organization skills to start an effort that will effectively make an impact or the faith and courage to speak boldly about a real-life, life-consuming relationship with our dear Jesus.
Shame on me. For many reasons.
a.) I should NEVER limit the power of God. Our God is a BIG God who can do all and anything that is possible and impossible in this world. He is the God of the Davids and Esthers, of the Jonahs, of the food-worker movement (you know, the fishermen, I’m just saying think about it). Never give up on our Hope in the Lord and how He moves.
b.) Being a strategic neighbor NEVER means I have what this neighborhood needs to be changed. What it means is that I am putting myself in a place to be changed and to be an agent of change. It should go both ways. If it doesn’t, things can get messy, judgements will be made, and people will get hurt. An attitude of “We all need each other” should replace an attitude of “ I want to see change happen.” This cannot just be in theory or rhetoric, but truly be at the core of your faith and actions. It may be difficult, but like I mentioned, I believe God can do the impossible in my heart.
c.) Outcome-driven programs NEVER replace relationships. I should not be in this for the transformation or outcome alone. If God were in this for the outcome, he would never have offered us free will. Heck, he wouldn’t have created us at all. No, it is not for a perfect world, He is in this for the relationship. With US. With ALL of us. In the hope of transformation, my priorities got lost. The outcome is not the priority, the priority is the people. I am learning and feel very strongly that if you do not allow God to settle your heart on OUR NEED for genuine relationships with people, being a “strategic neighbor” will get old very quickly.
Let me leave you with an old Aesop saying I love, “ No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.” Kindness is not about the transformation, it’s about caring for a person. We need to be about people. I need to be about the people in my neighborhood, in talking with, thinking about, praying for and listening to. Then the change may follow, in ALL of us.
Puppies and Prayer / Jul 26, 11:04 PM
My husband and I recently acquired a baby puppy to add to our little homestead. Not just a puppy but a 6 week old puppy, the “baby” kind, the kind pet stores won’t sell to you because they know they’re so young and needy that you’ll bring the puppy back in 5 days out of insanity demanding your money back. That’s what we’ve got. And I say “acquired” because we were not out to get a puppy. Actually, we (and by that I mean my husband) had two very clear “dog rules” in our marriage. Rule number one, we would not get a dog during the first 6 months of our marriage to avoid a tumultuous love triangle. That may be extreme, but you never know. And rule number two, we would not get a puppy. We wanted a dog, at least a year old, thus avoiding the difficult baby stages that can drive a dog owner straight to the Humane Shelter, swearing and crying the whole way. But alas, some boys from our neighborhood rescued this little pup and brought her straight to our house remembering that we said we wanted a dog “someday”. Well that “someday” happened to be sooner than we thought when those little chocolate eyes melted my heart.
We’re several weeks into puppy school and I’ve learned a lot. “Puppy dog eyes” really work. Puppies are good training for having a baby, except they don’t wear those convenient diapers. And puppies can also teach you about prayer. Let me expand on that.
We are crate training our pup right now, which means we put her in her crate at night and while we are away from home. Every night when we put her in her crate, she whines and yips in this high-pitched tone that hurts my heart. She doesn’t realize that her being in the crate is a good thing. It keeps her from getting into trouble. She’s not yet ready to be trusted with our home when we are asleep or not around, there’s too many tempting chewable items laying around, and she doesn’t quite have control over her potty skills yet. This is helping her to learn those valuable skills. She doesn’t care, she just wants out!
One night when I was shushing her whines, I thought “Wow, I wonder if we sound like this to God when we pray?” So often I whine and beg and plead to be let out of the situation I am in. It’s not fun. I’m not with all the people I love. It’s not the most comfortable place to be. But God, who I thankfully believe doesn’t find us as annoying as I find my poor little pup, wants us to trust Him. He wants us to realize that right where we are is the safest place. It’s safe because He is with us. It may not be with all our loved ones, it may be scary, it may be for a longer time than we think we can stand. But maybe we’re not ready to be out on our own yet, in the place we think we should be. Maybe we have a few more things to learn before we can get out there. We must trust that God knows and wants what’s best for us. Those times of being in places of pain or discomfort, our “crates”, may actually be God’s protection, even times of shaping and teaching us into His image, His likeness. If we got what we wanted too soon, there’s a chance we could mess it all up without the character-building God has in store for us in our “crate” time. So as we pray, let’s recognize that first; then maybe our whining will turn to singing, praising a God who knows us better than we know ourselves.
I keep hoping that for our dog. We could get a lot of press for a singing dog.
Change is a GREAT thing!! Ashley's LONG Overdue Update! / Dec 14, 12:09 AM
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” ~Seneca, Roman philosopherHello dear Family and Friends,
I again have failed to keep you all up to date with my life and ministry….as SO MUCH has happened since I last wrote! Some changes have been in the works for a while now, some just very recent and unexpected!! All very exciting! I will share the changes in chronological order :)
——-CONTINUING WITH MISSION YEAR—————————————————————————
As many of you know, when I initially started with Mission Year on staff as a recruiter, I only committed to working for a year in this role. I was looking forward to using this year to transition out of my time as a volunteer, gain experience professionally, but also to discern my future as I considered possible Graduate School and vocation options.
But as I got into the thick of this job, traveling and making significant connections all over the country, I realized it may be beneficial to Mission Year to continue with the work I’ve begun. As I prayed about it, I really felt like I wanted to honor this organization by continuing on with them and really put my full efforts into another year with the groundwork I’ve laid out as a recruiter. So I am committed to one more year as a recruiter, to reaching out to young people who are looking for a way to live out their faith in a radical way as Jesus called us to do. Thanks for your support in all of this, it is greatly appreciated! Please check my webpage for updates, how you can give financially as I am still fund-raising for Mission Year (and we are in MUCH need these days!)
http://missionyear.org/blog/ashleypharis/
FYI: ALL DONATIONS GIVEN IN THE MONTH OF DECEMBER WILL BE MATCHED BY A GRANT WE RECENTLY RECEIVED!! So if you feel lead to give, your money will be doubled and invested into the lives our in-need communities, neighbors and team-members who are struggling to raise funds in this economy!! Good news!
——-I MOVED TO ATLANTA!————————————————————————————————
This past January my boss randomly asked me if I’d be willing to move to Atlanta. I remember that day very clearly because it was the coldest day in Chicago in 10 years so I immediately said “Yes!” As I thought about it more, I realized how much I had grown to really LOVE Chicago, it had become my home. But after many months of prayer and reflection, I realized I was ready for a change. Even though I wanted to stay in Chicago, God had prepared my heart for change so I was willing.
Now, here I am, 5 months into living in Atlanta…and so far so good! It’s warmer, people move slower, and the tea is sweeter. How can I complain about that? I am really enjoying working in the Mission Year headquarter office with my new boss Sarah Quezada and Mission Year President Leroy Barber. Until recently (November 28th to be specifc, wink) in Historic Washington Park Neighborhood, right across the street from the high school were Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gladys Knight attended! And thought I miss Chicago, I am seeing signs of poverty in Atlanta like I have never seen before, but there is Hope in the midst and that is exciting!
——-I GOT ENGAGED + MARRIED!!!!———————————————————————————
Well this is probably the biggest news and I’m hoping that most of you have already heard :) But if not, take a look at our website to get the whole story!! http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/AshleyPharis&MikeNienaber
It’s been a pretty amazing ride, and the whole way I’ve been amazed at God’s faithfulness and great love like I’ve never experienced it before. And I have to recognize Mission Year in this, because if it wasn’t for Mission Year, I might not have met my husband who did Mission Year in Chicago 5 years ago! His name is Mike Nienaber (pronounced knee-neighbor), he is originally from Seattle and he is the most friendly, upbeat, adventurous, servant-hearted and sweet man after God’s own heart that I’ve ever met!! We got married 2 weeks ago in Indiana, and are now living in South Atlanta in a little fixer-upper home that God placed in our path, and we are so excited about learning how to continue living out our faith intentionally now as partners and best friends! And we’d love to have visitors so please let us know if you’re in the area or need a vacation to HOTlanta!
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So there’s the update. I pray a peaceful, restful holiday season for all of you as you continue to press into the meaning of Christmas, Jesus, to find rest for your soul in this busy time. Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2
God’s love and peace, Ashley “Pharis” Nienaber
God of the Pimps and Prostitutes / Oct 5, 10:05 PM
Last night was a dreary night, one that forces you to sit on the couch for hours (no complaints here!) flipping through the channels looking for any decent movie you can find. I settled on Hustle and Flow.
The movie itself is raw and graphic at times, following the story of a pimp, his business and his hopes to become a rapper. Not one you’d sit down on Sunday night to watch with Grandma. But there was a scene in particular that stood out to me.
D-Jay is the main character of the movie, a pimp. He is doing his rounds with Nola who he calls his “main investment” because she is the most in-demand girl with all his customers. In the scene, Nola gets out of D-Jay’s car as another car pulls up. She gets into the other car. There are flashes of Nola in the back of the car with a man, then quickly she gets back into the car with D-Jay.
It is clear she is rattled by the experience, even as an experienced prostitute. D-Jay can tell something is wrong, so he prods a little. After a moment, with the surprising innocence one would see in a kindergartner, she explains she wished she had something she was good at. She wishes there was more to her than sleeping with men. D-Jay immediately responds by feeding her these lines, convincing her she has the power in this industry, she is talented and in control. All the men want her. That they are a team and he wouldn’t be anything without her.
Manipulation. Lines that offer false comfort, power, encouragement. Lies. No one to tell her Truth, to tell her there is more to her than just being pretty and good in bed. That she is beautiful inside and out and that there is a better plan for her than she could EVER imagine. More than D-Jay could even offer himself.
A friend of mine doesn’t like movies like Hustle and Flow, because, if you’ve seen it you might agree with me that by the end of the movie, you may have sympathy for D-Jay. You might identify with D-Jay’s story of overcoming obstacles to make his dream come true. D-Jay, a pimp. D-Jay a guy who makes a living by exploiting women, by convincing them to sell their bodies to men they don’t know, and then give him some of the money they got paid to have sex.
The crazy thing is, we serve a God who loves the D-Jays in this world. Who gave His life for D-Jay. For Nola. For you. For me.
I’m working on figuring out what can I do to show this pure form of God’s love to the D-Jays and Nolas in our world, our city, our neighborhood. Those who need to hear Truth and Hope from someone because they don’t hear it from anyone else anymore.
Let’s find the D-Jays and the Nolas, ask them their name and go from there.
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