Gretchen Henner's Blog
Count the Costs / 10.19.09, 09:10 PM
this entry was written Oct 6th, but didn’t make it up because… i dk. there will be another later this week and newsletters emailed out tonight!
I’ve never taken a break from my education before. I would not call this year a break but rather a supplement, like a malnourished person drinking Ensure with their meals.
One evening in my recent past I discussed with my team what Jesus meant when He said “count the cost” (Luke 14:28ff). Soon the topic fell on what had been the cost for us to do MY this year. There are four college grads on our team. They explained how their relationships were changing regardless what exactly they chose to do next. It was as though they had nothing to lose. Hil just graduated from high school and has not picked a college as of yet. She felt very similarly to the other girls. I thought about what I had given up. I knew I wasn’t going to graduate in April 2011. That was something my parents made sure I counted early on. My thoughts turned to relationships at school, and I instantly knew that was my greatest cost. I had four year to be with these precious people, specifically Kay and Em. The first year we met and began growing together. Then the second year we lived together and nourished our beautiful friendship into what it is now. I know that I’m not losing it completely. I’m just not getting the closeness I would have had this year. When I go back, I’ll have junior year with them in different classes, and senior year they’ll be gone. I’ll make new friends of course, but the ones I have are irreplaceable (not to mention the incredible girls I LIVE WITH!). I didn’t count this cost previously and the realization made my heart ache. As I thought about I realized that although I hadn’t counted this cost, there was someone very close to me that had. When God started preparing my heart to apply for MY, Kay protested, quietly at first, the then louder when she realized I didn’t really get it. I was completely obsessed with the idea of MY. The adventure ahead seemed greater than the boring nursing major life I had, while Kay counted the cost our friendship would pay. Consequently, I treated Kay very poorly. We had a few fights even, and I had to humble myself. Suddenly I understand what she was thinking. It’s as though a quarter of our friendship has been sacrificed. Given the opportunity I would make the same decision again, but that doesn’t mean its hurting any less now. I’m receiving a great gift through MY and my relationships are going to be paying the cost.
Anyways, I love you and miss you.
Leave comments,
G
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I love you. Always. Even when it hurts. Even when we fight. Even when you’re miles away.
Your sister,
K.
By K. / Oct 29, 03:56 PM / #