Haley Soetebier
About Mission Year
Mission Year is a year long urban ministry program focused on Christian service and discipleship. We take teams of young people, place them in an area of need, and help them to serve people and create community. We are committed to the command of Jesus to “love God and love people,” by placing the needs of our neighbors first and developing committed disciples of Christ with a heart for the poor. Learn more about our first year program…
Haley Soetebier's Blog
"my heart shattered" / Apr 25, 09:11 AM
i watched the most amazing movie a few weeks ago. i haven’t stopped thinking about it. it was a real tear jerker. but not like the notebook. this film was about injustices, materialism, war, greed…. child soldiers. my heart shattered.
blood diamond.
in anger, i wondered why it took a leonard dicaprio film to teach me about such pain in the world. in all my years of schooling i was taught the quadratic formula, to recite shakespeare, to memorize the periodic table…. but i was never told about the current inner city education problems. i was never told that there are more slaves in the world today then at any other period in history. i was never told about the red light district. i was never told about blood diamonds.
when the movie ended and tears fell. “you wanna talk about it?” my roommate asked. i tell her i’m wondering why there wasn’t a class in school called, “things that really matter.” but i’m really upset so i used one of those forbidden four letter words in place of “things.”
this is where my favorite quote ever comes into play. gahndi told me i have to be the change i want to see in the world. so if i’m so angry that i wasn’t educated about things that really matter, then my burden becomes to educate others. so here’s the blog. i know it’s not eloquently written. i know i lack shocking statistics. i lack a video that’ll pull at your heart strings. but maybe you’ll go rent blood diamonds. maybe you’ll google search it. maybe you’ll check it out on youtube. and maybe this’ll continue to stay on my heart and i’ll have more to share with you about it later.
it's been a long time... / Feb 15, 01:29 PM
the mood to blog only strikes me late at night when i should be sleeping…when no internet access is around. this is my poor excuse for lack of blogs. i’m sorry.
life is good here. hard the past few weeks. hard but good. nothing in paticular has happened to make it hard. i’ve just had a crummy attitude. but i’m learning a little bit about giving grace not only to others but to myself as well. when did individuals become their own toughest critics?
so i work in the mornings at sacred heart elementry. i have since coming back from christmas break. i spend a lot of time with this second grader, javar. i’ve known him only a fraction of the time i’ve known those wonderful urbanpromise kids…but he warms my heart in just the same way. oh, kids… i reflect on the hopes i have for them and the way i love the unconditionally even when their actions and attitudes disappoint me. and i think, “this is a lot like the way God loves me…. unconditionally even though i sin against him 5,000 times a day.”
hm, so some highlights from the past few months:
*my roommates bought me gift for my birthday. some little rainbow drink, a cd, a GRAY hoodie. oh, it was glorious. and our wonderful neighbor mr. floyd bought me a bunch of junk food. it was great!!!
*eboni and gloria talk to be about personal problems. and i think i give pretty good advice. and it feels like a real relationship. not just surface. i love it. i haven’t seen much of them at camp lately though. i think they’ve been busy with play practice. i miss them.
*took tavi and nai-nai out for lunch the other saturday. watching nai-nai try and eat crab legs was so worth the expensive lunch!!! we went back to our house and they used our clothes to have a fashion show. it was a very good time….
*but i don’t always have enough energy to keep up with 6th grade girls… mostly i’ll keep persuing relationships with the 8th grade boys at camp – ky, whoomp, jacob, and vondale. we have had a lot of good times out on the basketball court. and a few semi-serious conversations here and there. there are dozens of short stories i could insert here but you’d never quite get it unless you were here…here, watching the relationships develop over the months…here, seeing their whole faces light up when the smile…here, seeing me hold back tears of joy in those moments when these kids from “camden most dangerous” forget to act tough and let themselves just be kids. i hate trying to explain it to everyone back home, knowing that i’ll never quite succeed at making anyone understand. because it takes so much more than words. you need to experience it yourself.
love ya’ll. it’s time for lunch. peace!
nothing profound... / Oct 3, 01:19 PM
i didn’t want to blog until i had something profound to say. that’s how i like to write usually. but 3+ weeks in, still nothing BIG to say. but a friend from back home wrote me a letter saying she checks me MY blog everyday, twice a day and was sad that there still wasn’t any new info…
so, my sincere sorry-ness. um, yeah, i guess this is the part when i tell you what i’ve been up to.
training, training, training. four afternoons at an afterschool program. that’s through Urban Promise. (i’m at the south camp site – camp freedom). and i love all the UP people i’ve met. they are great.
still looking at AM volunteers sites. interested in volunteering at planned parenthood. (though i’m worried that it’s not the “good christian” thing to do :S) or at this place homeless day shelter, frank’s. or maybe both. 2 days a week at each, ya know? all of the final details will be worked out by the end of this week. fo sho.
um, the people at my church our super, super kind. and my team is the BEST! i love them so much. (kristen, loren, alexandra)
what else to tell? um…. i wouldn’t really say i’m home sick. but i do miss my church family (tuesdays!) and the comfort of knowing where everything is in my town. i miss el ranchito and hagies. and i miss LOST. (i’m a little ahead of the game considering season 4 doesn’t start until january anyway but whatev…)
next time you see me i’ll probably have some dreds in my hair. one of the girls on the north camden team, hope, used to have some and knows how to do ‘em and take care of ‘em and such. so she’s gonna show me how on one of our sabbeths. yeah, i know most people aren’t all for dreds. but i’ve thought through it. really have. and i want them. and there is nothing you can say about it to change me mind. :-)
the end!
love you all!
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ramblings on my last days in Missouri / Sep 5, 08:12 AM
AHHH!
There, did you understand that? Yeah, I doubt it. Everyone keeps asking me, “Are you excited? Are you scared?” Yes to all of the above. But I feel like “yes” isn’t doing a good job at explaining the crazyness of emotions right now. So I tried “AHHH!” but I don’t think that helped much either. Whatev.
Big family dinner tomorrow night. Big party with my youth group Thursday night. Breakfast with Becca and Carli Fridy morning. Get on the plane at 12:30. And Whitney is supposed to go into labor in second now. And I’m going to be in the hospital with her and her family. Even if it means making my family wait until midnight for our family dinner. They’ll just have to deal. Your best friend (of 12 years) only has her first child and makes you the godmother once in a lifetime, ya know? It’s a pretty big deal.
In other news —- Josiah gave me 100 bucks tonight for Mission Year. (He tried to hand it to me but I told him that I’d get him an envelope tomorrow.) Let me explain to you how cool this is. Josiah is 17. No, that’s a lie. He turned 18 a few weeks ago. Anyway, he’s a senior in high school. Ya know…a kid. And he gave me 100 bucks of his own hard earned money. Seriously, hard earned. Jo worked at Greengates Farm all summer. Sweatin’ bullets doin’ I don’t even know what…but manly, tough, make you sore at the end of the day, kind of work. And Jo’s one of 7 kids. Raising 7 kids is expensive. So it’s not like Jo’s been handed a lot of super nice things in life, ya know? So for him to do that for me was super, super cool. I’m still floating, ya know? :) :) :)
People are treating me like I’m dying. It’s the weirdest experience of my life. People want to have me over and cook for me. They want to buy me things (mark’s bought me two books now). It’s so weird. I mean, I’m certainly not complaining. It’s nice knowing you’re loved. But I’m glad all the doting will end soon. It’s really starting to freak me out.
Um….yeah, that’s all I got. The End!
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thanks for the kind words / Aug 17, 02:21 PM
I don’t just write blogs here. I read all the other MY-ers blogs too. I keep looking for someone to say they are in CAMDEN but it hasn’t happened yet. Anyway, I’m quite fond of Heather Bouley’s blogs. She makes me smile. She’s got this one “things that get me pumped”...it’s a list of the encouraging things people have said to her. I thought that was nice. A good idea. I want people to know how much their kind words mean to me. So here goes:
So I read about what you are doing in the next year…that is fantastic. I would love to hear more about what you are doing! Keep in touch! – Lindsay Hacker
So Ive been sitting here bored for a while in my room and I started thinking about your mission year. Just wanted to tell you I’m gonna miss you soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!! But on the other hand I’m also really excited for & proud of you for doing this. – Erin Ross
wow. i am…in shock over here. you definitely should call me when you’re there…i’m very interested. my visual response is lame, but trust me…the reaction over here? fabulous. I LOVE YOU!!! – Liz Stafford
This is awesome Haley. I’m excited for you. You’re going to have to put some of that $70 back for stamps though! Because I’ll expect AT LEAST a letter a week :-D Those are the rules! – Whitney Robins
haley this is amazing!!! AHHH i can’t wait for you to go! – Jessi Struckhoff
I’m so excited for you! if i’ve learned anything from 4-H it’s that new experiences are life lessons..you know stepping outside of that comfort zone and having fun. I’ll miss you at ECC but I know you will be home soon. Just keep me posted on the situation. I’d love to write you because getting mail is just about the best thing ever! love you! – Jen Beste
Haley, this is the most awesome thing ever. And I was feeling pretty excited about SLU... this is so much cooler than college!!! I’ll pray for you when you’re off serving God and living on seventy bucks a month. I know this will just be a great opportunity for you, and keep us posted on where you end up. – Sarah Payne
I’m excited for you… a little jealous that you will be away from this place for so long but anyway… I just wanted to say… I’m going to miss you soooo much!!! – Megan Soetebier
wow im so excited for you!! actually my excitement out ways my sadness of losing you! Gods really going to use you over there Haley!! – Josiah Shickler
Haley, I love you SO much!! I will make sure I send you lots of pictures of Baby Kate. She’ll know who you are :). I am so excited that you got placed in Camden. God has opened door after door for this opportunity and you have to believe that.You have an amazing gift of relating to other people and meeting them right where they are. Everyone there is going to love you. I admire you so much for what you are doing. I have always had this fear that if I truly give everything over to God, what is he going to ask me to do or what/ where is he going to call me to? And even though you have or had that fear, you did it anyway and look what happened. That’s what makes you so amazing. I want to be updated all year long!! We will miss you so much when you leave, but we know what an awesome thing you are doing and that makes us feel better. Mark and I love you SO much!! – Jen Roskowske
Oh, Beautiful, Love. Well, I hate this. I don’t like you leaving me. Ah..this makes me crazy thinking about everything. I just love you. Love you more than you even know, Love. Mission year here you come….so look out. God needs you there. And as much as I wish he needed you in Union to be with me, I can deal with it…I just don’t like dealing with it. Boo. I miss you. – Carli Matthews
If you go to camden you will be my hero. – Mark Roskowske
Ahh! Those are just the written words! So many people have vocalized their kind words. And trust me, I appreciate those words so much too. I love you all so, so, so, so, so much! Thanks times 12,000.
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