Haley Soetebier's Blog
it's been a long time... / Feb 15, 01:29 PM
the mood to blog only strikes me late at night when i should be sleeping…when no internet access is around. this is my poor excuse for lack of blogs. i’m sorry.
life is good here. hard the past few weeks. hard but good. nothing in paticular has happened to make it hard. i’ve just had a crummy attitude. but i’m learning a little bit about giving grace not only to others but to myself as well. when did individuals become their own toughest critics?
so i work in the mornings at sacred heart elementry. i have since coming back from christmas break. i spend a lot of time with this second grader, javar. i’ve known him only a fraction of the time i’ve known those wonderful urbanpromise kids…but he warms my heart in just the same way. oh, kids… i reflect on the hopes i have for them and the way i love the unconditionally even when their actions and attitudes disappoint me. and i think, “this is a lot like the way God loves me…. unconditionally even though i sin against him 5,000 times a day.”
hm, so some highlights from the past few months:
*my roommates bought me gift for my birthday. some little rainbow drink, a cd, a GRAY hoodie. oh, it was glorious. and our wonderful neighbor mr. floyd bought me a bunch of junk food. it was great!!!
*eboni and gloria talk to be about personal problems. and i think i give pretty good advice. and it feels like a real relationship. not just surface. i love it. i haven’t seen much of them at camp lately though. i think they’ve been busy with play practice. i miss them.
*took tavi and nai-nai out for lunch the other saturday. watching nai-nai try and eat crab legs was so worth the expensive lunch!!! we went back to our house and they used our clothes to have a fashion show. it was a very good time….
*but i don’t always have enough energy to keep up with 6th grade girls… mostly i’ll keep persuing relationships with the 8th grade boys at camp – ky, whoomp, jacob, and vondale. we have had a lot of good times out on the basketball court. and a few semi-serious conversations here and there. there are dozens of short stories i could insert here but you’d never quite get it unless you were here…here, watching the relationships develop over the months…here, seeing their whole faces light up when the smile…here, seeing me hold back tears of joy in those moments when these kids from “camden most dangerous” forget to act tough and let themselves just be kids. i hate trying to explain it to everyone back home, knowing that i’ll never quite succeed at making anyone understand. because it takes so much more than words. you need to experience it yourself.
love ya’ll. it’s time for lunch. peace!
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