Jacob Davis's Blog
and again, He reminds me... / 06.24.09, 02:53 PM
braxton and i pulled our bikes into the store parking lot; loretta from the mission asked if we would pick up some spoons that she was in desperate need of. immediately i can see the woman, sitting in her wheel chair, and looking at us. her eyes look in two different directions, and her knees are large knots on top of her skinny sapling legs. as we walk up to the store, i know the question is coming.
“hey, can any of you spare some change?” she asks. it’s amazing to me how much weight this question places on my heart. maybe it’s because when i tell people that i don’t have money, they roll their eyes and look at me like i’m a liar. maybe it’s because i wish i could help, but in that exact moment in time, i can’t. all i can offer her is a sad shake of my head.
“we don’t have any cash on us.” braxton explains, and i can hear the regret in his voice.
“ah, shoot,” she says, but without much conviction, “i would love some candy.”
while we’re in the store, braxton and i are debating on whether or not we should get her some candy, or something healthier. i’m on candy’s side, and my stubbornness wins out. on top of the nineteen bags of spoons we buy, we also buy a box of little debbie chocolate chip brownies. after waiting in line, we take the brownies outside to her. she’s very grateful, and braxton asks her name. he tells her to enjoy them, and gets on his bike. suddenly, there’s a little tug on my heart to tell her that God loves her.
i walk up, and lean forward, and she looks at me with one eye, the other looking in a different direction.
“no matter what happens,” i say, “God loves you.”
she looks at me like i’m an idiot, and then after a second, her face dissolves into the expression that one has when dealing with a naive child.
“oh baby,” she says in a hoarse whisper, “i know that.”
so often i want to think of myself as being a messenger of God, someone who brings spiritual sight to the blind. i keep on expecting God to make miraculous conversions happen through me. yet lately i’ve started to realize that i am not the only person that God has shown love and grace to.
so often we call ourselves the bringers of God’s good news. but more often, we are reminders, as we die to our egos and our expectations and rise to His truth.
may it be so.
1 Comments
Leave a Comment...
Read more of Jacob Davis's Blogs.
you’re Loved too. no matter what.
By jordan / Jun 24, 05:27 PM / #