Jacob Davis's Blog
many paths to tread / 11.03.08, 04:22 PM
the false self is found and faced in solitude. we tread a dangerous path when we walk in solitude, for it is in the quiet and solitary places that our secular self comes out to pull us from a silence within which G-d resides.
today we had the chance to spend a day in solitude at the audubon park here in new orleans. we started at a labyrinth located in the park, which is a design on the ground painted on stone or made of edged grass. it’s like a maze of sorts, but unlike a maze, it has no dead ends, but rather twists and turns that take you from being inches away from the center (your destination) to the outer edge of the design.
so from ten thirty to two thirty, the seventeen of us left the labyrinth and separated from each other to spend time in the presence of the Lord.
needless to say, i found myself being challenged and distracted at almost every moment. G-d showed me beautiful things in His Word about His love, His care for the needy, and His heart for justice. every moment was another moment to turn from the world and focus myself on G-d. His Grace has finally been proved to me in my utter failure to remain focused on Him for more than five minutes.
for the last hour, after many things were revealed to me in silence (which even if i had this blog for over a year, i don’t think i could write enough to scratch the surface of this amazing practice), i headed back to the labyrinth and began to walk its path. to be honest, in the steps between the starting point and the center, i had a spiritual journey. it brought me near to the center, and just when i thought that i had figured out G-d’s will, i was turning and heading in the opposite direction. the entire time i whispered in my mind and tried to find what G-d wanted to show me.
He responded, and to be honest, i didn’t like what i had gotten for an answer. thank G-d that the labyrinth was much bigger than it looked. i continued to walk, turn, circle, move towards and draw back, the whole time yelling in my head that the things that He was asking of me were more than i could bear. it was painful to follow like He was asking me, and i quickly started comparing other people that i knew to what He asked. then suddenly, my heart was overtaken with a flood of love, and my mind went to the verse in which G-d tells a suffering paul: “My Grace is sufficient for you,” followed quickly by the end of John’s Gospel, in which peter asks, “what about john?” to which Jesus turns and replies, “If I want him to stay until I return again, what is it to you? YOU FOLLOW ME!”
looking down, i realized that i had reached the center, and i started crying. Jesus had looked me in the eye and cried, “You follow Me!”
there is such weight to the things that G-d has confronted me with. i would not by any means say that He has given me a greater burden than anyone else, but i would argue that my sin is rooted so deep in me that it hurts me to follow Him like He asks me to. but i will follow Him. that’s what He’s called me to do
i have come to the end of one labyrinth, only to find the entrance to another.
all praise be to G-d!
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