Jaimee Crawford's Blog
Strong Winds / 12.11.09, 10:36 AM
It’s been a while! Hey everyone!
So, I haven’t been blogging because well.. I don’t know. I am just busy and haven’t felt like there has been too much worth while to write about.
Life here in Charlotte is becoming just that.. life. Which is great! I am comfortable here, and it’s my new home. I guess it’s just kinda weird because I’m not on this constant Jesus high, if you know what I mean. When you go to camp or on a short term mission trip, I guess most people get a high or something and feel like their entire lives have changed in a mere week. Which don’t get me wrong, that happens! But that’s not the case for me here in Charlotte, which kinda disappoints me.
It’s been a long while since I have felt completely “on fire” for God, and when God opened up the doors to come here I guess I thought He was going to make my relationship with Him perfect or something. And No, He has not made it perfect, but it’s become a lot more real to me. I am discovering that the ways I serve and worship God don’t have to look like everyone else’s way of serving and worshipping. My relationship with God is my own, and it’s not gonna look the same as everyone else’s. I’ve also learned that if that is how you go about your relationship with God, by comparing it to others you will find yourself let down, and defeated. Because there is always gonna be someone who seems like a better christian, and someone who in comparison to you has more love for the hurting world, or who when they worship seem so much more sincere and in love with God, you’ll always be let down because you’ll feel like you don’t measure up to these amazing Christians. So I’m learning to stop comparing myself to others, and just live my life for Christ as best I can and have a real, genuine and personal relationship with God.
In my last newsletter I think I talked about how I sometimes feel like a hypocrite being here as a “missionary,” or whatever you would like to call me, and sometimes I still feel like that, because I don’t have this amazing relationship with God that I feel like a missionary should have. But in a letter I wrote to my daddio I realized that I was grateful for the fact that I don’t always feel God, but that I am still walking with Him and serving Him here in Charlotte, because that shows me that my relationship with Him is real! Because if it wasn’t, i would have given up by now and would have started living for myself. So I am thankful for this time of blahhh and not feeling God, well as thankful as I can be!
“Blessed are you if you trust, When you cannot understand.”-selected
Also, today I came home and it was about 5:20ish? And the sun was setting, and it was SUPER windy, but the temperature was perfect. So before I went home I headed to the park and went on the swings. It was so beautiful out, and for some reason I always feel close to God when it’s windy. I am not sure why, but anyways, I just had the best feeling and I was so happy and just thankful that God doesn’t ever leave me, even when I am a little punk. And I was just so thankful that I have a God who creates beautiful sunsets and perfect weather for me to enjoy!!
And last night there was a crazy thunderstorm, it was soooo loud. Sadly I was too tired and cold to get out of my nice, warm bed. But the lightening lit up my whole room, and the thunder freaked me out, but it was awesome. It reminded me of how powerful our God is!
“You may not see or feel the inner workings of His silent power, but rest assured it is always mightily at work. And it will work for you, if you will only quiet your spirit enough to be carried along by the current of its power.” -Hannah Whitall Smith
I just read through Song of Solomon, and before I always thought it was kinda weird, but this time God showed me how beautiful He made love to be! And it just made me haaaaappppy:))
I will be home in EIGHT days… practically seven:D!! I can’t wait to see you all. Thank you for your prayers and support.
P.s. THANK YOU to Jason, your box of treats was a lovely surprise! Hope to meet you sometimeeeeeeee!
Mmmkkkaaay, adios all.:)
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First of all, I liked what you wrote, except for the strong winds. . . I had a nightmare about strong winds a few weeks ago no joke lol. I’ll get a chance to tell you all about it, I’m 95% sure I’m coming to visit mid January. Have an excellent Christimas!
By Jason / Dec 14, 04:05 PM / #