Jeff McNutt's Blog
Myself: Someone I have always intended to someday become.* / 07.09.09, 11:00 AM
Right now it’s the end of the day, a day that I could easily regret. This is the type of day that starts so right, the day where I am walking with Christ every step I take. This was the day that the devil would fear ME!
…Instead, much like Peter saying he would follow Christ to the death, I then denied Him.
Father, forgive me my sins.
My heart is so heavy right now. I am an upbeat person, one that love’s life, and when my heart is heavy I don’t quite function right. So I ask your forgiveness as well while you read this.
Today I was reminded of who I was. Maybe you have a “who I was,” the old self, the one that is gone, the person that was crucified with Christ. Problem is, we have people to remind us who we were. Old friends (as was my case today) who have no idea who we are now, who only see us as we were. For me that image of myself is not Christ like at all. I did a lot of selfish things. I can’t help right now but to think of the Brandon Heath song “I’m Not Who I Was,” maybe you were thinking it too since I had just said that. The song rings very true for me though. I joke with my friends that I have done a 359º turn around. I started as a Christian, went and pursued my own desires, and now am back to loving Christ like I never have. (For those worried about the last degree I’ll get to that in another blog) AND YET, the moment someone from my past shows up I remember how miserably wretched I was. I could barely look them in the eye.
And then I caught it…
It was an attack.
In Waking the Dead, John Eldredge makes the statement that “the story of your life is the story of the long and brutal assault on your heart by the one who knows what you could be and fears it.” The truth is that God has made each one of us in His own image, and Satan wants nothing more than to blind us to that truth.
Myself: Someone I have always intended to someday become. And really, the myself I intend to become is the myself He first created.
Today was a good reminder. I am not myself. I do not reflect Christ’s glory the way I hope too. BUT, I am not who I was either. God has done marvelous work in my life, but I am a work in progress. I’m sure it is due to me that I am not finished, we all have something we just love to hang on to, but I am so much closer to being myself.
Father, thank you for the love you have shown me. Thank you for having the patience to continue working on me. Truly you deserve all praise.
I love you.
*This is a quote from Mark Steele’s book Half-Life/Die Already.
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Thanks for sharing Jeff. I needed to hear that. Or read it rather.
By Katie / Jun 30, 01:10 PM / #