Joshua Ballew
About Mission Year
Mission Year is a year long urban ministry program focused on Christian service and discipleship. We take teams of young people, place them in an area of need, and help them to serve people and create community. We are committed to the command of Jesus to “love God and love people,” by placing the needs of our neighbors first and developing committed disciples of Christ with a heart for the poor. Learn more about our first year program…
Joshua Ballew's Blog
The End / Aug 8, 09:26 PM
Dear Supporters,
My Mission Year has ended. It has been an amazing learning experience for me and one that I will treasure and reflect on for many years to come. I learned how to manage a room of 7th and 8th graders who do not want to do their homework. I learned how to live on a budget of $17 a week for groceries. I learned how to be professional at the workplace. I learned to play the guitar. I learned that deep relationships are not made easily and sometimes require turmoil and then resolution to deepen. I learned that I can not do anything to help people, the most I can do is listen and pray. I learned that I was not as solid a person as I thought I was and that constant seeking of the Lord is very important. I learned that God provides for all my needs. The more I realize how little I truly need the more aware of how blessed I am. I learned to ask God what my blessings are for and He has used them to provide for other people’s needs. I learned that sorrow is better than anger because we are made weak in sorrow as opposed to the strength we feel in anger and in this weakness we can find God and lean on him. I learned that God has called me to be a peacemaker. I learned that my life as a peacemaker will be filled with sorrow and failure.
Thank you so much my friends. I am changed and God was able to use me to change others through my actions and words this year.
In two weeks I will be at George Mason University in Virginia studying Conflict Analysis and Resolution. At Christmas I will return to Macao to visit.
Here is a video of a skit that the Sacramento and Oakland Mission Year teams did at the Mission Year closing retreat. The sound isn’t best but I think you can get an idea of how our year went.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnQKIJhiMZo
Peace,
Joshua
Comment [1]
I don't need to die / Apr 14, 07:54 PM
The room was in a mess. Book sprawled all over the floor and in disarray on the shelf. It was to be a family project: sort out the books and arrange them neatly. ‘We all work until the work is done’ is a family saying passed down by my grandfather. After the books had been ordered and placed in their appropriate places we all went to the dinning table to have some left-over birthday cake.
When my father divided the cake he did so according to who worked the hardest. My parents got the two biggest slices and I got slightly more than my brother who got next to nothing because he had spent the whole time reading. I accepted my fate because it was fair although by brother was too young to appreciate it and instead began to pout. As we were about to dive in, or in the case of my brother and I, dabble in, my father took all of his cake and divided it amongst his two sons. My brother’s pout ended as I burst into tears. It’s not fair!
This was the beginning of my understanding of the grace of God. As I type this I am moved to tears. I don’t need to die.
The realization the washes over my mind to the point of emotion is not a final step though. I sometimes forget. But just as I don’t get angry when my body needs food only hours after I last ate, I don’t grieve for my needing to be reminded over and over the grace of God. But I do grieve the times I have withheld nourishment from my spirit.
I used to think I was living a very good life until some of my friends approached me saying if I was a Christian then why do I not ever speak about my faith. This was a great wake up call for me. I thought those around me were seeing Christ through my actions, but by not recognizing who was the One behind my life I was allowing myself to be dismissed as just another good person, or even worse, praised for being a good person. I still struggle with the balance between words and deeds but I believe that when I eat the bread of life God will let me know what to do. After all, it’s not just my grandfather who says ‘You are what you eat’.
Comment [1]
Paint Your Palette Blue and Grey / Oct 15, 05:05 PM
The day was going by smoothly. After encountering Vincent and then dropping Rachel off at school I returned home to get some things and then headed to New Hope Community Church for meetings. After the meetings finished we were able to help out at the Food Closet that is held in the church building every Thursday. Nick and I are overjoyed to be able to help bag fruits and vegetables and various other things such as canned goods and loafs of bread along with arranging tons and tons of cakes, muffins, cupcakes, donuts, pies, Cinnabuns, cookies and more cakes. The sanctuary of the church building turns into a mini grocery store and with good reason too. Instead of just handing out food, New Hope along with other churches partner together, providing each person with a filled bag of groceries and the allowing them to go around the room and select what they want to take from the deserts, dairy and fresh produce available. Just like a grocery store. I make a mental note to tell Vincent about this the next time we meet.
Nick and I leave the Food Closet half way through because we have to be at the school across the street for the after-school program. We miss out on seeing anyone receive the food but both of us are greatly encouraged just the same. The churches’ enthusiasm for serving the people of the community and the cooperation that goes on between these churches is very impressive. Their generosity over-powers us as Nick and I talk about all the food that we received and we have the idea of bringing all this food to our house so that we can surprise McKendree and Rachel when they get home. We then head over to the school for “Jump Start” the after-school program.
Keeping the kids focused on their homework is about as easy today as any other day. As each day passes to the next, homework time gets both easier and harder. It’s easier now that I know all the kids names and know exactly what they have trouble with and when they are just goofing off and actually know how to do it. It’s getting harder to keep the room quiet and figure out disciplinary actions that will be heeded. But not too much harder. When I was a new and unknown entity in their school life I could be very strict and not encounter much resistance. Now that they know me better they are attempting to find chinks in my armor. It’s a good thing that I’m a lot smarter than they are.
After all the kids had left, either picked up by parents/guardians or returning home by foot/bus, I mounted my bicycle and began the journey home with Rachel, because it was still my day to escort her to and from our work site. As we come to the place where we saw Vincent earlier that day we see a man hunched over a shopping cart full of clothes and facing away from us. When we near the man I realize he is Vincent and I pull over planning on telling him all about the Food Closet and inviting him to church in a few days. “Hey Vincent!” I say as I pass him before turning to face him. I am too enthusiastic about telling him all about the Food Closet that I don’t notice that he has barely moved and is looking at me with blood shot eyes.
To Be Continued
Starry, Starry Night / Oct 13, 10:19 AM
Knock, knock, knock… a barely audible sound was coming from our door. Nick rolls over in his sleep as I slide my feet into plastic slippers with the universally recognizable swoosh on them. I stumble over to the door and find Rachel waiting on the other side. She has to go to school in 10 minutes so that she can spend the morning observing the teachers there and helping tutor some students. This is what she will be doing for the rest of the year but in a few more weeks Nick and/or I won’t need to escort her. I close the garage door and get on my bike, all the while repeating in my mind the wisdom behind the rule that says “no one goes out alone for the first month”.
I peddle lazily as we ride down the street. We stop at a crosswalk and wait for the red hand to morph into a white silhouette of a man attempting to walk but stuck between steps. Stuck between waking and sleeping, that’s what my mind feels like. We make it to the other side unscathed but are stopped by a man with his hand held out towards us, palm facing toward the sky. “Do you have 50 cents are a dollar?” he asks. “I’m really hungry and just need 50 cents or a dollar to get something to eat.” I try to get words to form in my mind before the pause lingers beyond the point of awkwardness. Rachel interjects with a friendly “Hello, my name is Rachel. What’s your name?”. “Vincent” he says as a impressive smile grows on his face. His outstretched arm remains but his palm shift 90 degrees. We exchange names and I explain that I would be willing to take him somewhere to eat. Vincent rebuffs me by saying he’s traveling in the opposite direction and does want to bother us. I sense the press of time as it slips forward towards when Rachel is suppose to arrive at school. I don’t want her to be late her first week. After a few more things were said I reach into my wallet and pull a bill out. It turns out to be $5. We say goodbye and as we fly down the road I ask Rachel to pray that he spends it wisely.
The days go by with no other contact with Vincent. The weeks go by without anyone seeing him. Then as I am tailing Rachel on her way to work I look up and see a man off in the distance waving his hand at us. Rachel and I yell out at the same time “Vincent!”. Vincent’s first response is “Aw, you remembered my name.” but then he implores for “..just 50 cents or a dollar.” We talk some time before finally giving him a dollar. Before that though, we learn that he is homeless and is envious of us for having work to do. He’s favorite place to eat is “Church’s Chicken” and that it’s about a 20 minute walk from our house. But now we are half way to school and as we leave I tell him I can’t do this again because we don’t make any money either but I’d be glad to share a meal with him next time we meet.
To Be Continued
Comment [2]
Com-Passion / Oct 4, 02:23 PM
Dear Supporters,
One of the values of Mission Year is the emphasis on living in solidarity with our neighbors and also removing all the things that get in the way of building healthy relationships. Our house will not have a TV in it for this year and for the first six weeks we aren’t allowed to use any Technolo“ME”. Technolo“ME” is anything that doesn’t involve the people around you; laptops, phones and Ipods are all banned for the first six weeks except for use on our Sabbaths and even then our house doesn’t have internet access. This is so that we can fully commit to our surroundings and give all our energy to those around us.
I’m telling you this not so that you will pity us for not having all the “luxuries” of modern civilization. I tell you this so that I can have your compassion. Compassion being made up of “com” meaning with and “passion”. Be passionate with me. Passionate for Jesus. Passionate for those around you. Passionate for justice. Not the justice found in a courtroom but the justice that comes from love. The kind of love that will do anything for the betterment of another.
I have been blessed to know you. Blessed to have parents with good reputations and amazing networks so that I am able to raise the amount of money needed for my year. But my teammates are blessed in different ways. They only have a fraction of what they will need by the end of the year to cover everything. Mission Year is a community and the money we raise goes to supporting the community. So please join me in passion.
Please talk about Mission Year with people and share with them the light that is being shown in a world with a self-centered and me-first mentality. Share with them how they can partner with us. I was able to raise enough money for myself this year but the support from my teammates; emotionally, and spiritually, is equally important for me this year. So if you encounter anyone interested in joining us in our passion please send me their email so that I can send them the information needed to provide support for me and my teammates and also so that I can add them to the list of partners to keep up to date with what we are doing.
