Joyce Kim's Blog
All Asian People Look The Same / Nov 14, 12:49 PM
i’m sorry that i’m using my mission year blog page as an “i’m upset so let me vent” page. but these things seem to happen whenever im at work and where a computer is accessible to me, and right now i just need to blow off some steam before i can talk to another human being with kindness and respect. i’d rather verbally thrash a computer than a person.
i was over at cafe 458, the sister program under Samaritan House (where i work). my other asian-american teammate Ann works there and i stopped by to say hello to her. im leaning against the counter, waiting for her while she was serving someone, when a white woman, who i presumed to be a volunteer, comes up to me and starts asking me about all these questions concerning the cafe’s operations.
i stare at her blankly, not really understanding why she’s talking to me or why she’s asking me all these specific questions. in mid-sentence she looks surprised, touches my arm and says, “oh! i’m sorry. i thought you were her” and she points to Ann.
walking back to my work, i was really upset and pissed off. first of all, Ann and I do NOT look ANYTHING alike. and secondly, she had been working with Ann all morning. did she bother to even carefully look at Ann? did she even remember Ann’s name? i understand that you’re only there for one day to volunteer—i dont expect her to know her weight and blood type. but come on! at least get her name and face straight! and for pete’s sakes Ann was wearing all black and had an apron on, while i was dressed in bright red and gray. WE DONT LOOK ALIKE AT ALL!!
to be completely honest, i think i was more upset because she was white. i’ve had a lot of african-americans ask me if Ann and I are sisters, related, blah blah and that only usually annoys me or makes me laugh. but i’m beginning to sense this intolerance i have for white people and being a lot harsher with them than with other racial groups. and that makes me wonder if im being racist/racially prejudice by expecting more from them bc they’re white. so does that mean i think white people are more educated than black people? that white people have had more exposure to diverse cultures than other racial groups?
if i’m assuming these things about white people, that implies that i’m assuming certain things about other racial groups that is probably degrading and patronizing.
i guess i’m no better. but im still upset. because all people, regardless of race, do not look alike. but somehow this concept seems more imposed on asian-americans than other groups. i dont know. someone let me know/correct me bc it’s frustrating to have to deal with this everyday.
3 Comments
Leave a Comment...
Read more of Joyce Kim's Blogs.
I’m so glad that you brought this topic up on here, thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing!! I’ve thought a lot about this as a white person, because, unfortunately, I have been (and still often am) one of those white people who lacks the ability to differentiate individuals who belong to the same race but other than mine. And honestly, it happens to me for Asian-americans, African americans, any “non-Euro-descent-american”.
Funny thing, though, since we’ve moved into our Chicago North Lawndale neighborhood for Mission Year, all of my housemates have gotten the exact same reaction that you and Ann have. And TRUST ME, we do NOT look identical to one another, only two of us look even remotely alike….I mean, I am the only RED HEAD and I’ve been confused for my brunette roommates! Some neighbors have verbally shared that all white folks look alike….my reaction is like, “WHAT?”
SO, what I’ve learned from this is that I believe we develop the ability to visually differentiate specific identifying features from person to person by what we’ve been exposed to. For example, my social circle was mainly comprised of White people, so I’ve learned the characteristics that are easiest to tell one another apart (ie hair color, eye color, shade of skin tone).
For other ethnicities, because I had limited relationships/exposure to them, I never had to learn differentiating features from Asian Am. to Asian Am. or African Am. to African Am. Now that my main social network is African American, I’m learning that there are other features that I must use in order to differentiate one individual from another because skin tone, hair color and eye color are often a commonality from person to person (and I’m learning that there are shades amongst African Americans, something I never really mentally noted or classified before…why? still working on that one).
Ok, sorry if that’s confusing or doesn’t make sense, please point out if you think I am wrong in how I’m processing all this. But I’m glad to have someone to process with in a safe place…
By Ashley / Nov 15, 03:15 PM / #
i think it’s interesting that you pointed that out—that you may be harsher on her because she’s white. i don’t think i would’ve noticed that. that says that even when we aren’t being seen as people (individual, important people), we are being prejudiced in making it harder for her to get by than others. i think it’s ok to feel upset or just wanting to blow off steam, because at least it’s comforting to know that as long as we’re blameless before God and not prejudiced, we’re fine.
hm…
By deebs / Nov 16, 10:30 PM / #
Hey Joyce, don’t know if you remember me or not>> I met you at bootcamp>> I was the one trying to talk everyone into taking the Theology of Poverty course. Anyway, I would love to touch base with you at some point. I would love to hear how your year is going, and more about your feelings based on this post (I know it was a while ago>> I am not much of a blogger so I never read them). Anyway, if you’d like my e-mail is chris@missionyear.org
If not I will see you at the end of the year. peace to you. chris
By Chris Lahr / Mar 13, 10:49 PM / #