Lindsey France's Blog
on the other side of the wall / Mar 5, 09:50 AM
As the year moves forward, I am finding it more and more difficult to articulate my feelings, observations, or experiences. I can no longer compartmentalize and rationalize life. (Of late, this has caused quite a dilemma as I can’t seem to remember much of anything that is pertinent to the practical realm of life. My team would be happy to tell you stories of this, I’m sure. Jordan asks me on a regular basis, “Hey, how’s your brain?”) Existence and all of its decisions and impulses, its victories and mistakes, its pain and joy, its tragedy and delight is indefinable. I often need to escape into solitude and attempt to organize all of the thoughts swirling around in my mind into neat little categories. Try though I might, I cannot separate the pain from the joy or the chaos from the peace.
Unfortunately, many of us spend our lives trying to do just this. We move away from the impoverished, we close our eyes to injustice. We pretend all is well. More so, we blame those who are in need not only for their own suffering but for the world’s problems. They’re the people who are failing high school, filling the jails, and burdening the welfare state, right? To justify our distance from them, we remind ourselves that we have worked hard, we have followed the rules, we deserve it.
Jason Upton has a song called “Lullaby for a Petrified Sacred Society.” In it, he talks of the walls that the American church has built up around it to protect it from the world. One line is, “we’ll all sleep well tonight, no worry for tomorrow, safe in our panic room.” We have surrounded ourselves with beautiful church buildings, unwavering theology, and an instilled fear of anything that walks or talks differently than we do. Our attempt at alleviating man’s suffering sometimes goes only as far as a tract or a pitying smile. Ten percent of our income satisfies our financial responsibility to God and his children. And when we read the newspaper in the morning, we forge sympathy for the children dying in Uganda and force a tear for the innocent woman killed in gang violence. It all works really well. On the surface, we have never been happier. It seems we have finally managed to reconcile our religion and our longing for earthly treasure and acceptance.
Sadly, it doesn’t satisfy the deeper longing within us for authenticity and love. Tragically, it ignores the very essence of the teachings of Jesus Christ. In using religion to serve as yet another way to feel good, we inevitably miss out on the abundant life that we are searching so desperately for.
If we truly believe that Jesus Christ came to save humanity, if we really believe that he came to reconcile the lost children to his father, then we must tear down the walls. We cannot continue throwing food over the barricades to the less fortunate and we cannot continue shouting Bible truths from a safe distance through a megaphone. It isn’t about pity and charity. This is about equality, relationships, and reconciliation. The reconciliation of all people and things, the peace that passes all understanding, the wholeness of mind, body, and spirit. That is shalom.
If we continue to shut ourselves in our “panic rooms,” we are essentially saying that we are superior and that those Jesus came to heal are insignificant. And we are saying that God is a liar. We need to reexamine our approach to our faith. We need to read the Bible in its unadulterated form, unmarred by our opinions and desires. We need to recognize that our pain and joy, affluence and poverty are inextricably connected. We need to walk hand in hand, rejoicing and mourning together, as we continue our journey. When we do, we will find abundant life. We will find shalom. We will be reconciled to God and to our brothers and sisters.
I’m trying to understand this. I’m trying to live this. I praise God for you who are helping to guide me and encourage me. Thank you. I love you.
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Wow. What an amazing blog. I don’t even know what to say except Thank You for your words. They are truely convicting and encouraging at the same time. Oh yes and I LOVE Jason Upton-‘Faith’ is my song of healing. Thank you for what you are doing in the city-I know it will spill over in God’s kingdom. Be Blessed!!
By Tera Shelton / Mar 5, 10:39 AM / #
i cried while I was at WomanCraft yesterday. i couldn’t control it. first my eyes were just burning like they do sometimes and then my heart was sad.
mostly, it seems that there is only chaos inside. and it maddens me.
nancy was near, a friend of mine. she was asking me like ‘Whats the answer for disparity’? or something like that. and i’m just like Ahh! i don’t know! red face. steaming hot. heavy breathing.
she said, “you know, sometimes we want to get to the heart of things…and figure it out. but like in grief, mostly it’s just a lot of madness and Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh God! Ow!” pain.
and it’s what we have now.
and when we experience it, we can remember that we are alive: we feel the pain.
she also shared with me that her yoga teacher says “happiness is our birthright”. and mental health is of utmost importance —we must be patience with ourselves as Our Lord is.
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“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.”- anne lamott.
we cannot change ourselves. we are being changed, whether we see it or not. thank Love, Jesus cares. i’m so glad he cares.
read this sometime:
Listen – W.S. Merwin
please. in it’s entirety.
grace and peace dear. grace and peace to you.
By melissa / Mar 6, 04:48 PM / #
melissa, the anne lamott quote is incredible. and so true. and i will read it, in its entirety. I trust your recommendations more than just about anyone in the world. :-). i can’t wait to see you and give you a GIANT hug.
By lindsey / Mar 7, 11:39 AM / #
Shoot France. You just said some stuff there. Thanks.
By Jordan / Mar 11, 07:16 AM / #