Meredith Shuppy
Why I am doing Mission Year
My name is Meredith Shuppy and I will be a team member on the 2010 New Orleans Mission Year Team! A dream that is quite quickly manifesting into a reality!
I’ve wanted to do Mission Year for a while, but I didn’t have the guts to apply until spring of last year. I actually didn’t know much about it, either. I was kind of scared that God might actually want me to do it, and I knew it’d be a giant risk so I stayed away from it for a while. But then God kept knocking on my heart and asking me to consider it. I began to feel restless and really unsatisfied with how I was acting out my faith and each time I’d pray and ask God what I was supposed to do with my life for Him, Mission Year came to my mind.
For even longer than I had wanted to do Mission Year, I felt a call on my life to live in simplicity and to shed the layers of material dependency that I’d become so comfortable wearing. God really caused a consciousness in me to ignite and I was aware of how much I had and how little I really needed and how these THINGS kept me from truly being solely dependent on the One God. I had gods all over the place in my life (still do, unfortunately) and I knew that the best way to live was without the influence of stuff (not that I have always been one to eagerly sell my stuff and give the money to the poor). I also saw how much I had and how little so many others had. My eyes were opened to the kind of slavery Christ tells us He can free us from: ourselves and the bonds of the lust of this world. Suddenly car commercials became poison to me and I was consumed with how privileged my life really was and what excess I was allowing to take over my life.
These two things have grown into giant desires to walk with Jesus in a way my heart has always yearned for, but I didn’t always know that yearning or how to answer it. I praise God for how He’s brought so many different people, books, words, songs, ideas, etc into my life to speak His Truth to me and beckon me to walk closer with Him and become more like Him. Thusly, falling ever more deeply in love with Him. I praise Him that He hasn’t given up on me even though my disobedience to His gentle prodding to walk with Him and leave this stuff behind greatly outweighs my obedience to follow wholeheartedly. I have, so many times, put my hand to the plow and looked back. I pray those days are coming to an end and I can walk single-mindedly towards God’s Kingdom both here on earth, and in the next life. By His grace, amen.
Mission Year, for me, isn’t a statement of my awesome faithfulness to Jesus and His teachings. Oh my gosh, if only people could be in my head as I prepare to leave! So much fear and doubt that rumbles beneath. I’m completely faithless. It’s just my lame attempt to walk a little more like Jesus and get a bit closer to Him. And to put action into the Words I love. What kind of testimony do I have in Jesus if I am not willing to do as He asks and trust what He says? I am scared to leave my family, to live with people I don’t know (yet!), to live in a rougher neighborhood than I’m sure I’ve ever lived, to be without my stuff that I’ve come to rely on. It won’t be very comfortable, but I don’t want to walk on this earth without having really walked with Jesus. It’s just time for me to back up all this talk with some walk :)
Prayers for our group as we prepare and for all of the Mission Year staff who is working so hard to get things ready for us. Prayers that God would work in us and through us and that we wouldn’t seek becoming like God something to be grasped, but that we’d humble ourselves as servants and serve with passion and joy to all those we know now and will know soon. God’s grace upon you, loved one!
About Mission Year
Mission Year is a year long urban ministry program focused on Christian service and discipleship. We take teams of young people, place them in an area of need, and help them to serve people and create community. We are committed to the command of Jesus to “love God and love people,” by placing the needs of our neighbors first and developing committed disciples of Christ with a heart for the poor. Learn more about our first year program…
Meredith Shuppy's Blog
Come on, Jesus, light my fire / Mar 5, 09:09 PM
Let’s start with some updates: 1.) I will be working at Desire Street Ministries’ office at least one day a week, if not two. 2.) I finally got cleared to volunteer at Carver High School so I will be starting there next week at least one day a week, if not two. 3.) My roommate, Amanda, and I have joined Carver Desire Baptist Church’s choir and that is proving to be a bit more stressful than I would have determined, but still really awesome. 4.) We had our first visit to St. Roch Community Church on Sunday, Feb 28 and it was definitely different from Carver Desire, but it was fun to be there and to try something new. 5.) I had to go to the doctor on Monday, March 1 because I had been having intense stomach pains, etc. for a couple of days in a row. The doctors believed it to have something to do with my gull bladder and put me on some pain meds and some other prescriptions that helped with my uncomfy symptoms. Thank God for real because this is the second time I’ve gotten sick so I was ready to feel better, haha. But yeah, please be praying that I’d just do what needs to be done so that I don’t get sick like that again and that I can be wise with what I’m eating because it was something really spicy and crazy unusual that set off the attack and I just don’t want to experience that again. Oh no, I do not. So yes, thanks for your prayers!
What is the point of my being here? That question has been on repeat in my mind for the past couple of days. God has been asking me that and, I think, wanting me to examine why exactly I came to New Orleans with Mission Year and what the heck it means. I knew the answers to these questions before I left and when I first got here, but in just 7 weeks the blindingly burning reason for my being here has somehow gone missing… It’s not that the fire went out, but the fire went some place and now I can’t find it… Something happened and the purpose I was holding tightly to slipped from my grip and is stuck somewhere back there in the muck and I’m, well, I’m just now realizing it’s gone and now I have to get to finding it!
I don’t want anyone to worry that perhaps I don’t want to be here anymore, au contraire! I know this is where God wants me, I’m just having a small existential crisis as I’m walking in His will, haha. Nothing to be concerned about. Totally normal. And I mean, I’m glad to wonder about things like that because I know He’ll take me somewhere deeper, somewhere even further into His intimacy.
It’s kind of cool because my team and I have been talking about doubting and just blindly following and how doubt is good when it leads you to ask questions and pursue answers. And how just blindly following and suppressing any doubts on your heart because you’re afraid to not be the best in the classroom (metaphorically, of course. or maybe literally… depends, I guess…) isn’t always the wisest decision. You could be missing out on an opportunity God is excited for you to seize that would draw you closer to Him in a way that would revolutionize your relationship with Him and renew your faith. God is all about relationship and when you’re in a relationship with a person, you have conversation and you dig deeper together and you share your hearts and minds just to learn from one another. Why wouldn’t we engage in a relationship like that with the Ultimate Relationship? What keeps us from taking God at His word that NOTHING can separate us from His love and NONE can pluck us from His hand and just dive in head-first into the doubts and clean house with the Savior of the World? Laziness keeps me from doing it. Pride. I don’t want to be that vulnerable with someone – it’s going to take SO much out of me emotionally. Yeah, well, guess what, Self. Jesus demands YOU in total, if you know what I mean, so you have no choice but to either be HOT HOT HOT for Him or be COLD COLD COLD. Lukewarm gets your spat out of His Holy mouth. So you either love Him or hate Him. Which one am I committed to? If I say hot, I better get to boiling.
God is so merciful. Hallelujah. I’m so glad I’m His. sigh So that’s what’s been on my mind recently… as in right now.
Comment [2]
Green, Gold, and Purple / Feb 19, 11:24 AM
Mardi Gras season as passed and we have come out 70+ strands of beads heavier! We were invited to enjoy a night of parades on Monday night (aka LUNDI GRAS as it is the day before Mardi Gras) with our city director, Irvin, at his family’s stake-out along St. Charles. Our friends Julie and Cinyel took us along with them. It was a long night of screaming and reaching for strand after strand of glimmering, glinting beads. Sometimes my pleas were heard and honored, other times, the keepers of the beads simply looked at me and either tossed the strand I most longed for to some other hand shot into the sky, or simply turned away, pretending he didn’t catch the hint of tears in my begging eyes. I even ran after a couple of floats who showcased the beads I truly desired – and would have traded in the hundreds already strung around my neck to have – screaming and pointing, “Those beads! I want THOSE beads!!!!” To no avail, might I add. It was a truly humiliating performance, but it was a blast. I can now boast of my Mardi Gras participation and show off my treasure of plastic pearls of green, gold, and purple.
There hasn’t been a ton going on with services sites this week because of the holiday, but God is still working and using every instance and event to continue His work here. But one huge praise to share is that we met a new neighbor this past Saturday: Miss Rosa. She opened her doors to me and my roommate and blessed us with 6 fl. oz. of dish soap, as we were way, way, way out. We got to spend about an hour taking a tour of her house and listening to stories about her family and life during and after Katrina.
I feel, as each day passes, that I am becoming a part of this community. I feel a bit more ownership over it every single day. I love it here and I love the people here and I just want to become better friends with all of my neighbors as the year progresses. God has been continuing to teach me what He expects of me and my teammates as His ambassadors here in this city. We aren’t here to change everything or to make things happen for people, but we are here to be beside them as their friends. And I keep forgetting that! I keep forgetting that that’s what I’m doing here! I just want to DO DO DO something, instead of rest and wait and hang out with my neighbors and initiate conversations with them. It’s a lot harder staying on track with what seems to be such a simple task, but I keep getting distracted and then frustrated and then re-focused.
So with my green, gold, and purple now dangling from the corner of my bedroom window (alongside my Saints colors), I hope to proceed with love and care with renewed eyes for my neighborhood, wanting to just be friends with everyone and extending Christ’s hand of friendship to all. Because I am falling quickly in love with this amazing city of warmth and joy and colors and I want to love her people, too.
Comment [3]
The place I'm calling home / Feb 3, 06:10 PM
I have been in New Orleans for two weeks now and it’s still an adjustment. Every day I am learning something new and being stretched.
A little about the house and the neighborhood: I’m living with three other peeps and we are living in a really poor area (Upper 9th Ward) that still has fresh wounds from Katrina devastation. It’s incredible how the rest of the country has pretty much forgotten about it while New Orleans lives with the reminders right across the street every single day. My heart is being pulled in many different directions in terms of justice and renewal for this city every time my roommate and I walk to our service site, which is about a 2 mile walk through this depressed area, and meet our neighbors who are thirsty for a hope.
Service site: We’ve only been able to start at one of our assigned areas because my roommate and I are awaiting clearances to begin working in the local high school. So right now we are working with Desire Street Ministries at their after-school program. We are two of three white people who work there. It’s been something to get used to being in the minority here. And race is such an upfront issue here that I find it refreshing how easily people point it out and talk about it. But the program is here to give inner city and at-risk kids a chance to find positive reinforcement and structure in their hectic lives. The first week has been hard, but every day was an improvement and each day I’m finding more of a place there. The staff is great and they are truly in love with the kids they teach every day. It’s so encouraging to be with people who are motivated by their love for God to help make a difference here.
Church: We are going to Carve Desire Baptist and I love it! We will be helping on Saturday to set up for their neighborhood outreach program. Home-cooked meals to be had by all! Praise Jesus! We are finding a home there with everyone’s joy and love pouring out over us. We’ve made friends with the lady who comes to pick us up on Sundays- Sister Clara – and her husband – Alfred. They have been so kind to us!
Other stuff: It’s been a major learning experience on so many levels here. We don’t have a lot of food left from the first time we got groceries, and although we’ve been able to buy a loaf of bread here and a dozen eggs there, they don’t get us very far with four people eating three meals a day. But I feel like God really wants us to realize the truth that we can’t live on bread alone. We await our monthly grocery money with growling bellies, but I praise God for the struggle because that’s when we are most hungry for Him. I pray that our team can continue to rally together and face the pain, the discomfort, and rough stuff with joy and excitement to not be at our best, so Jesus can be at His fullest. We may not like it, but God is always teaching us something, and I just pray for the resilience to be obedient and the LOVE for Him to be obedient in anything he asks of me. And I pray that our team continues to come together as one, with one purpose, and one desire for Jesus. I’m looking forward to seeing how God manifests His dreams through us this year. Please pray that we’d each be open to what HE wants, not what we want. That we’d shed our worldly, self-focused identity, and begin to desire what He wants above all things. Pray for this definitely, please! And pray for our service sites and our neighborhood.
God be with you all! Thank you for joining with me in prayer! God is good :)
Comment [4]
I think this is refinement... correct me if I'm wrong. / Jan 14, 05:51 PM
I’m feeling really scared about leaving home and heading to Mission Year. I’ve been questioning a lot of things as I’ve been preparing to leave. Questions like, “Is this really what Jesus wants or did I put this all together?” and like, “Am I really being obedient? Or am I going after my own dreams?” It feels like a way more momentous event than I wanted it to. For some reason I just feel like I’m saying final good-byes, like I might not see people again. That scares me a little, but I also have to remember that Satan likes it when I’m scared so I try to release that fear to Jesus. I’m not always successful, but I’m working on it. And it’s frightening to realize that Jesus wants all of me and He’s going to go to great lengths to have all of me. I’m just a little scared of what He can do, you know? I fear about what He’ll take away, like family. But then I remember that Satan likes it when I don’t trust Jesus and the Holy Spirit reminds me of an even bigger, far less scary promise: “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.” And already I’ve had to cling so much closer to the Lord even during the weeks of preparation. Every little detail, every stress, every hindrance, everything that has come into my path and threatened to thwart – I have had to turn to Christ in ways I’ve never turned to Him. I’m really grateful for His mercy and patience. I’m so glad He doesn’t expect me to run as fast or respond as quickly as another one of His children. There is such freedom in knowing He doesn’t have these comparisons going on between me and another brother/sister – I can be myself. I’m just so glad because I’m definitely dealing with all of this in my own way and I desire to be righteous through out as I am coping and dealing, but I know I’m not perfect. Praise Our Father or His unending love. I’m just so glad that pressure of perfection is off and I am constantly reminded of and, thusly, leaning on His grace. Ah, it’s AWESOME to be so helpless! Because there is NO pressure to be anything than what I am and all the glory goes to God, you know? Man, it’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful. And He’s even more amazing when I realize that none of it is me, you know? Like, wow, He loves us that much? Praise God :) He is THE coolest person ever. Ever. I wish everybody knew Him. I pray everybody does! Amen!
P.S. Prays are always welcomed and necessary and GOOD <3 Praise the Lord for He hears us! And thank you to all who pray :)
Comment [4]
- 1
