Meredith Shuppy's Blog
Come on, Jesus, light my fire / 03.05.10, 09:09 PM
Let’s start with some updates: 1.) I will be working at Desire Street Ministries’ office at least one day a week, if not two. 2.) I finally got cleared to volunteer at Carver High School so I will be starting there next week at least one day a week, if not two. 3.) My roommate, Amanda, and I have joined Carver Desire Baptist Church’s choir and that is proving to be a bit more stressful than I would have determined, but still really awesome. 4.) We had our first visit to St. Roch Community Church on Sunday, Feb 28 and it was definitely different from Carver Desire, but it was fun to be there and to try something new. 5.) I had to go to the doctor on Monday, March 1 because I had been having intense stomach pains, etc. for a couple of days in a row. The doctors believed it to have something to do with my gull bladder and put me on some pain meds and some other prescriptions that helped with my uncomfy symptoms. Thank God for real because this is the second time I’ve gotten sick so I was ready to feel better, haha. But yeah, please be praying that I’d just do what needs to be done so that I don’t get sick like that again and that I can be wise with what I’m eating because it was something really spicy and crazy unusual that set off the attack and I just don’t want to experience that again. Oh no, I do not. So yes, thanks for your prayers!
What is the point of my being here? That question has been on repeat in my mind for the past couple of days. God has been asking me that and, I think, wanting me to examine why exactly I came to New Orleans with Mission Year and what the heck it means. I knew the answers to these questions before I left and when I first got here, but in just 7 weeks the blindingly burning reason for my being here has somehow gone missing… It’s not that the fire went out, but the fire went some place and now I can’t find it… Something happened and the purpose I was holding tightly to slipped from my grip and is stuck somewhere back there in the muck and I’m, well, I’m just now realizing it’s gone and now I have to get to finding it!
I don’t want anyone to worry that perhaps I don’t want to be here anymore, au contraire! I know this is where God wants me, I’m just having a small existential crisis as I’m walking in His will, haha. Nothing to be concerned about. Totally normal. And I mean, I’m glad to wonder about things like that because I know He’ll take me somewhere deeper, somewhere even further into His intimacy.
It’s kind of cool because my team and I have been talking about doubting and just blindly following and how doubt is good when it leads you to ask questions and pursue answers. And how just blindly following and suppressing any doubts on your heart because you’re afraid to not be the best in the classroom (metaphorically, of course. or maybe literally… depends, I guess…) isn’t always the wisest decision. You could be missing out on an opportunity God is excited for you to seize that would draw you closer to Him in a way that would revolutionize your relationship with Him and renew your faith. God is all about relationship and when you’re in a relationship with a person, you have conversation and you dig deeper together and you share your hearts and minds just to learn from one another. Why wouldn’t we engage in a relationship like that with the Ultimate Relationship? What keeps us from taking God at His word that NOTHING can separate us from His love and NONE can pluck us from His hand and just dive in head-first into the doubts and clean house with the Savior of the World? Laziness keeps me from doing it. Pride. I don’t want to be that vulnerable with someone – it’s going to take SO much out of me emotionally. Yeah, well, guess what, Self. Jesus demands YOU in total, if you know what I mean, so you have no choice but to either be HOT HOT HOT for Him or be COLD COLD COLD. Lukewarm gets your spat out of His Holy mouth. So you either love Him or hate Him. Which one am I committed to? If I say hot, I better get to boiling.
God is so merciful. Hallelujah. I’m so glad I’m His. sigh So that’s what’s been on my mind recently… as in right now.
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Dith, sometimes focus goes away because its so clear; as you say knowing why you came. BUT, raising to the next level requires you to have to foucus on the moving into relationship with him MORE! You’re on one heck of a journey on so many different levels my love! We pray for you and your NO family. Peace! Love!
By AJ & UB / Mar 9, 04:55 PM / #
au contraire my friend. I so love your messages. Had a good week but oh so busy starting the new job :) love, another not-lukewarm-sista.
By SaraH / Mar 12, 06:43 PM / #
You are so driven…wait, hear, listen, do….and of course sing!!! Glad you are sharing your voice with your community there…wish I could hear you sing…you know I love it!
By mom / Mar 12, 09:11 PM / #
Heyy. Hope you feel better. And continue to hang in there and seek out God. He will show you what the purpose in you being ther is. And a few cool people if you haven’t met them yet: Ms. Margaret over in the Abundance project is the bomb! She’s my Godmother. :) And if you’re at Carver tell Mr Dean the freshman English teacher I said hey. Man, it’s so exciting to hear about Desire from yall. It’s a blessing.
By Zachery Sminkey / Mar 15, 05:41 PM / #
If you are in not good state and have no cash to get out from that point, you would have to take the business loans. Just because that would aid you emphatically. I take car loan every year and feel good just because of it.
By business loans / Jul 6, 11:15 PM / #