Meredith Shuppy's Blog
I think this is refinement... correct me if I'm wrong. / 01.14.10, 05:51 PM
I’m feeling really scared about leaving home and heading to Mission Year. I’ve been questioning a lot of things as I’ve been preparing to leave. Questions like, “Is this really what Jesus wants or did I put this all together?” and like, “Am I really being obedient? Or am I going after my own dreams?” It feels like a way more momentous event than I wanted it to. For some reason I just feel like I’m saying final good-byes, like I might not see people again. That scares me a little, but I also have to remember that Satan likes it when I’m scared so I try to release that fear to Jesus. I’m not always successful, but I’m working on it. And it’s frightening to realize that Jesus wants all of me and He’s going to go to great lengths to have all of me. I’m just a little scared of what He can do, you know? I fear about what He’ll take away, like family. But then I remember that Satan likes it when I don’t trust Jesus and the Holy Spirit reminds me of an even bigger, far less scary promise: “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.” And already I’ve had to cling so much closer to the Lord even during the weeks of preparation. Every little detail, every stress, every hindrance, everything that has come into my path and threatened to thwart – I have had to turn to Christ in ways I’ve never turned to Him. I’m really grateful for His mercy and patience. I’m so glad He doesn’t expect me to run as fast or respond as quickly as another one of His children. There is such freedom in knowing He doesn’t have these comparisons going on between me and another brother/sister – I can be myself. I’m just so glad because I’m definitely dealing with all of this in my own way and I desire to be righteous through out as I am coping and dealing, but I know I’m not perfect. Praise Our Father or His unending love. I’m just so glad that pressure of perfection is off and I am constantly reminded of and, thusly, leaning on His grace. Ah, it’s AWESOME to be so helpless! Because there is NO pressure to be anything than what I am and all the glory goes to God, you know? Man, it’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful. And He’s even more amazing when I realize that none of it is me, you know? Like, wow, He loves us that much? Praise God :) He is THE coolest person ever. Ever. I wish everybody knew Him. I pray everybody does! Amen!
P.S. Prays are always welcomed and necessary and GOOD <3 Praise the Lord for He hears us! And thank you to all who pray :)
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I am so excited for you, Meredith! I hope things are going really well down there as you’re in the middle of Week 1. God has amazing things in store for all of you!
By Sarah Quezada / Jan 20, 09:43 AM / #
You are on your way to showing God’s love and amazing grace in amazing ways!! Here’s to your first week :)
By Aj & Ub / Jan 20, 04:23 PM / #
Sending much love and continued prayers as you grow into a working team for the good of so many…We are so proud of the commitment you have made to yourself, God, and others.xo mom and dad
By Marg Shuppy / Jan 22, 04:07 PM / #