Monique Cowan
Mission Year, Here I Come!
My instructions are to describe myself and tell why I decided to do Mission Year. So, here we go.
Well, I am 27 years old, single, no children. I grew up in Compton, CA and have only been saved about 6 years now. I write poetry and do spoken word. Before that, I was a Muslim for about 2 and a half years in the Nation of Islam. I came to Christ after a couple of people showed some Jesus love to me and didn’t try to beat me over the head with a Bible and the fact that (however, true) I was going to hell if I didn’t acquiesce.
The Lord gave me and my best friend, Shawna McKenzie, a vision for ministry not too long after I got saved. But, in June of 2006, my best friend passed away after she and her sister were in a car accident. I didn’t want to do ministry anymore and, more than that, felt like i couldn’t do it because I was now alone.
Cut to 2 years later, I have a fairly comfortable life. Lots of things that were very UNcomfortable had happened: breaking up with the man I thought I was going to marry, being virtually homeless with my family, etc., etc. After all of that, though, things were pretty… regular. But they were so regular, so comfortable I began to get uncomfortable. My desire has always been (since being saved) to do a long term mission somewhere… ANYWHERE! One day, i had a thought: what if I was offered an opportunity to go for a year or two. That day I went to work and saw the email from Mission Year that 12 more people are needed for the program. At that moment, I believe God said to me, “Here is your opportunity. I want you to go.” So, I went online, read everything on the website and to my surprise AND confirming what I believed God said, the Mission Year ministry is almost identical to the ministry vision that God gave to me and Shawna some years back. I prayed, applied and was accepted. Not only that, but the city I believed I was supposed to go to (Atlanta) is the city I’m going to.
Right now, I’m so overwhelmed and excited, it’s like it’s all not real. But, to everyone who has a vision and a mission from God ,no matter what has gone on on your life, no matter how much you may doubt the call of God in your life, if it is TRULY from God, He brings the opportunity to bring it to pass.
About Mission Year
Mission Year is a year long urban ministry program focused on Christian service and discipleship. We take teams of young people, place them in an area of need, and help them to serve people and create community. We are committed to the command of Jesus to “love God and love people,” by placing the needs of our neighbors first and developing committed disciples of Christ with a heart for the poor. Learn more about our first year program…
Monique Cowan's Blog
Off To Atlanta! / Aug 22, 11:52 AM
So, really, y’all… I’m leaving. In the midst of calling FedEx to find out the cost of shipping my stuff, contacting my team, sending out sponsorship letters, looking for the cheapest flight and trying to plan a going away something or other, I realized… I’m going away.
And then between the afraid throw-up stomach and the excited throw-up stomach, I’ve been nauseated on a pretty consistent basis for the last week. But, it’s good. I’m in a weird space between wanting to just hurry and go and not deal with any of the emotion of it all and wanting to hug EVERYBODY that has had ANY kind of ANYTHING to do with my life thus far.
I don’t really know how I’ll handle it. To be so far away and not be able to text and call and email when I want. No distractions from T.V. or games or noise, in general. Me and God. Me and the work. Me and this new responsibility. Living as simply as possible. (Which means no MAC counter OR Chipotle!) In a city I know very little about.
I’ve been told not to say I’m scared because God has not given us the spirit of fear. But on the contrary, that doesn’t mean you won’t feel fear. And, man, do I feel fear. God hasn’t given us a spirit to fear to the point of dread and cowering from the things we are called and commanded to do. So, yeah, I’m doin’ it, man. Scared and all. Because I know that I am weak. But, I am willing because I understand that I am only able because God said so. Not because I’m perfect. Not because I’ve done it all right. Not because I’m smart. Not because I have all this grand revelation. But because I said, “Here am I, Lord. Send me.” And He listened. And He obliged.
And even after being so angry and hurt to the point of disobedience, even after believing I would probably just marry, have a couple kids and chill out from the ministry (aside from maybe volunteering in another church), even after not praying or being on my Word and running so hard AWAY from everything that I knew to be right (and yes, THIS was because of fear), after being so scared of doing this thing by myself and saying to God “I won’t do it! You can forget it!”; After ALL of that, He still counts me worthy to be His partner. He still counts me righteous to do His will. He still had me set apart. HE still chose ME! God, The Master of the Universe and the Creator of it all, in spite of all my hang ups, still said, “but I have work for you to do. Will you do it?”
Is He asking you the same thing? Have you been through so much or put others through so much you just feel like you should just give up? How selfish and prideful of us to believe that Jesus Christ’s work on the cross can not work for us. That we’ve had such bad thoughts, done such bad things or waited so long to do what God said that we just CAN’T anymore. It’s only too late when you make up your mind that it is. Everyday you wake up is one more chance. Every second you breathe is one more chance.
He has work for you to do. Will you do it?
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