Richard Burchfield's Blog
follow the leader?? psh, that's for 5 year olds / 01.12.09, 10:26 AM
I would love to be able to tell you that I’ve come home and had the best first week back ever; that I enjoyed being back in AL but that I’m back and on track. That I have this whole thing down pat now, and I am kicking butt and taking names with the things that I’ve struggled with.
But I can’t.
Or, I could, but it would be a lie. And, I could lie to you, but lying doesn’t look good on me.
I can, however, sit here confidently, typing to you, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing to let you know that when I am lead by my emotions, I am lead straight into disaster. I’m more certain of that now than ever before in my life.
The times in my life that I’ve made a decision or wouldn’t make one, the times when I’ve spoken up or chosen not to, that I’ve regretted have been things that I’ve either done or not done based solely on my emotion at the time. I seem to make these drastic decisions at the worst possible time. I’ve done it for as long as I can remember. It’s been one of the more difficult parts of being here in DE with Mission Year, with living with 5 people, having a boss, working with idiots…or even people smarter than me. Okay, especially with people smarter than me.
I say all of this to help lead you into my past week. It was one filled with overwhelming emotions that I have struggled with all week not to let control me. There were things, problems that I left here when I went back to AL and they met me at the front door when I got back. The amazing thing is that problems never just go away, they have to be talked about, dealt with, confronted, and then they can begin to be worked through. This past week has played on my weaknesses, and as difficult as it’s been, I’m sure that I’ll be better for it. Again, I would love to tell you that I conquered these things over the week, but I didn’t. They’ve made me question things, made me act differently than I wanted, made me respond or not in ways that I’m not proud of, but I’m committed to working on letting my emotions lead me.
This blog wasn’t going to be a long one, and it definitely doesn’t address some huge social injustice or solve even my own struggles, but it does get things out of my brain and onto paper. So, thanks for reading and I hope that you’re lead by something greater than emotion.
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