Sarah Headrick
reasons to serve
why am i doing mission year?
because i needed a radical change
because i needed a deeper trust in God
because i needed a step of faith
because it’s not about me at all –
it’s all about love.
About Mission Year
Mission Year is a year long urban ministry program focused on Christian service and discipleship. We take teams of young people, place them in an area of need, and help them to serve people and create community. We are committed to the command of Jesus to “love God and love people,” by placing the needs of our neighbors first and developing committed disciples of Christ with a heart for the poor. Learn more about our first year program…
Sarah Headrick's Blog
Endings and Beginnings... / Jul 21, 03:28 PM
I haven’t used this blog much this year. But I feel like as Mission Year ends, I should probably post something. That way I’ll have posted at the beginning and the end. That’s good, right? Most of my bloggage has been done here: http://sawahjean.blogspot.com. So read that if you like :) I actually stole this post from there.
Endings and Beginnings…
This is our last week. It’s official – Mission Year is ending.
This weekend it really started to sink in. We’re moving out of our house, leaving each other, saying goodbyes and going our separate ways. On Saturday we began to pack. Our walls are bare and lifeless, our shelves are empty, and our shared lives are being separated into cardboard boxes. Memories are flooding back of our first days together – sleeping on the living and dining room floors because we had no beds or air conditioning, using mattresses as couches until we had couches donated to us, bonding in garage apartments and the long road trips to and from Atlanta. Soon we’ll be heading that way again for our closing retreat…
Before beginning our Sunday School lessons yesterday the kids sang a song for us and the Children’s Ministry leaders gave us a fruit basket and thanked us. Our Pastor called us up to the front at the end of the service to pray for us and bless us as we begin our new journeys. It was our last Sunday at Ecclesia as a Mission Year team.
Yesterday I was struck by the incredible beauty of my community. I sat in service with the kids from Generation One before they went to Sunday School. The kids beside me played with my hands and asked me how long until they could leave. As we sang I could hear the pure voices of the kids behind me. I couldn’t help breaking into the biggest smile in the history of my life and shedding a few tears as well. When they eventually filed out for Sunday School the empty seats in my row were filled by a loving and inspiring family from my church who have taken in so many children, children with special needs and who desperately need their love. The seat to my right was filled by Michael, a dear friend I met through Simple Feast.
Our Pastor gave us a great reminder through a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. : “…many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.” I thought about that in the context of my life and relationships this year. My freedom, joy, fate, well-being is inextricably bound to that of the refugee who struggles with English and with single-handedly providing for her children, the man sitting beside me who is trying to get back on his feet, the young mother at the end of our street whose husband will soon be leaving for OTC in Alaska…
We are all so completely connected and so desperately in need of each other.
Mission Year is ending, but a new journey is beginning. And I still have so very much to learn…
Thank you, Lord, for leading me on this journey.
Thank you for the path that stretches ahead of me.
Love.
2010 / Jan 3, 04:23 PM
I always feel weird when a new year rolls around. I can’t really explain the feeling…just…odd. It’s as if something is missing; as if I feel that something big should happen or some insane change should take place. And maybe it does at times, and maybe it will. But it might not.
January 1st is just another day.
Maybe it’s that I feel guilty. Like I haven’t accomplished all that I should or could have. Maybe that’s true. But I don’t think God wants me, or anyone, to feel guilty. The need for that was eradicated that scandalous day when He demonstrated the craziest kind of sacrificial love for a world that certainly did nothing to deserve it. That makes me weep. And I want to serve Him so badly, to reflect even the smallest piece of His glory, to pour back to Him even a drop of the love He so graciously and generously lavishes on me.
“We know what true love looks like because of Jesus. He gave His life for us, and He calls us to give our lives for our brothers and sisters. This is a portrait of true love. If a person owns the kinds of things we need to make it in the world but refuses to share with those in need, is it even possible that God’s love lives in Him? Once God’s love takes hold of a person, it is impossible for him to close his heart to his brothers and sisters in God’s family. My little children, don’t just talk about love as an idea or theory. Make it your true way of life, and live in the pattern of gracious love.” (1 John 3:16-18, The Voice).
That’s how I want to live. I want to live like Jesus. I talk about love a lot, and I write about love, and I think and dream about love. I want to live love.
I think what I’m missing is the fresh feeling. Isn’t the start of a new year supposed to feel fresh? It’s a new beginning, a chance to try again, because we inevitably fail. But really, each day is a fresh start. The third chapter of Lamentations says that God’s compassions never fail and they are new every morning. That’s crazy! It also says that it’s because of God’s insane love for us that we are not consumed. Yeah, baby. Psalm 3:5 says, “I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.” Each morning that I wake up, it’s because God has given me another day. That means that each day that I’m alive has a purpose. That means that I should be LIVING. If only I could think that way every morning. God gave me this day, He kept me alive, He allowed me to wake up this morning. That rocks.
I’m not going to make any New Year’s resolutions. I’m just going to live. I’m just going to commit this year to the lover of my soul, my Lord that I’ve fallen so deeply in love with. I’m just going to continue to follow Him. Undoubtedly I will fail. When that happens, I’ll just get back up again knowing that God’s love is HUGE.
Welcome, 2010.
dissatisfaction / Aug 12, 10:59 AM
as i was trying to fall asleep last night i kept thinking about how often i’m dissatisfied or disappointed with things in my life. i realized that the reason for that is because i want things to happen MY way. but i’m not the one in control. i’m not the omniscient one who has a beautiful plan of redemption in mind. my mind is narrow and my vision is limited and i never can seem to fully trust in the only One who deserves to be trusted.
why?
why do i worry? why do i put God in a box? why do i continue to try to plan my life and tell God the way things should happen when He knows my past, present and future? He knew me before i was born and everything He does is out of love for me. His love is pure and true and REAL and yet i’m afraid to fully embrace it, to let faith guide my every step…
dissatisfaction. yes, i’m dissatisfied with this world because i’m not created for this world. there’s something better coming…
Surrender / Jul 14, 01:25 PM
This is something I wrote a while back for my blog – http://sawahjean.blogspot.com
This year, emotionally and spiritually, has been the one year of my life that most resembles a roller coaster. The image may be cliché, but it’s extremely fitting. It has been a year of excitement, anxiety, passion, and apathy as I approach a major transition (gasp the dreaded ‘t’ word) in my life. Where will I go next year? What will I study? Where is God leading me? Is this feeling of being called to ministry really from Him? Questions, questions, questions….it has been a year of questions.
Near the beginning of the school year, we had Spiritual Emphasis Week. The thing that stuck most in my mind was the speaker’s challenge to ask God to do something radical in our lives. I did. Little did I know what that would look like or where it would lead me.
In February, I learned about Mission Year. It sounded fantastic to me from the very beginning to spend a year devoted to loving people. It seemed to fit with what God had been placing on my heart about the importance of relationships. Yet I was in torment – this was no easy decision. It would mean putting off college (which had been my plan for right after high school for the past who-knows-how-many years) for a year. It would mean drastic change. Wasn’t that what I had prayed for?
I wouldn’t let myself embrace the idea too quickly.
The beginning of March we went to Nürnburg for high school retreat. My expectation for that weekend was for God to show me whether or not Mission Year was something I should pursue. I knew He would not let me down. Sure enough, during the worship sessions and small group times, God spoke to me through songs and verses:
Ø “I will lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can’t climb” – not only is God able to help me overcome tasks that I am incapable of, He CREATED them. So why ever should I doubt?
Ø “Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.” (Luke 1:45) – that seemed pretty straightforward. STOP DOUBTING.
Ø “My weakness only brings to light the arms of God, such strength and might.” – yes, I’m weak, but God SHINES through that weakness!
Ø “No matter what tomorrow brings, there’s strength enough for today.” – it can be exhausting to live a surrendered life, but God provides the strength we need. We may not have the strength to last a week or month or year, but He gives us strength for today. One day at a time.
Ø “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” (Galatians 5:6)
That weekend, I decided to apply. I knew that if this wasn’t God’s will, He would close the door and I would not be accepted to the program. What did I have to lose?
I applied on March 17th. Then came the waiting period. In the midst of the waiting I went on a week long mission trip to Kenya. Back in November, when I signed up for the trip, I did so with the hope and expectation that God would either confirm or completely deny the calling I felt to ministry. Throughout the week He consistently confirmed it and granted me peace about it. On March 30th, I finally prayed a prayer dedicating my life to God’s ministry, whatever form it may take. Surrender is freeing. After that I was even more excited for Mission Year – but I still had to wait. Anxiety and impatience were very present. I constantly had to remind myself that God is in control. He has a beautiful plan and purpose for my life, so what reason do I have ever to be anxious?
After what seemed like 10,000 years (only a slight exaggeration), I received an email of ACCEPTANCE on April 29th. The next day was my birthday and one of the girls in my dorm said that this was my birthday present from God. :) I still don’t know which city I’ll be in, but I’m so excited. Not a day goes by now that I don’t thank God for the opportunity He’s given me. I’m so thrilled…ECSTATIC…to know that He wants me – a doubtful, selfish girl who constantly makes mistakes – to be a part of His work. He doesn’t need me, but He wants me. Sure, I still have my fears, but I’m excited to see how God proves those fears unfounded.
He will provide.
