Sarah Quezada's Blog
hello there, neighbor / 05.28.10, 10:32 AM
I’ve lived in quirky urban neighborhoods for so many years that sometimes I wonder if my experiences are typical in most of America or simply reserved for my crazy corner of the world. But this morning I realized that my neighbors and I see each other in our pajamas quite frequently. I was thinking about this as I was sitting on my porch in my slept in t-shirt and sweats while eating my breakfast. I had already seen my next door neighbor in her nightgown and housecoat when we both stepped outside to find out why the dogs were going ballistic. I’ve seen another neighbor moments after rising, and just yesterday, I saw her personal items drying on the back porch.
Perhaps this phenomenon is the result of being a home owner as opposed to living in an apartment. We all have a little piece of land to call our own, so we don’t mind being on it unbathed and comfortable, even if others can see us. Or perhaps it’s related to the fact that in the five houses nearest us, I’m pretty sure my husband is the only adult man. There’s a subtle feeling of a girl’s dorm that might allow a sense of freedom. Or maybe the reality is simply that being a neighbor is a relationship that is naturally intimate, even though sometimes we try to pretend that we can quietly and nonchalantly co-exist.
This façade of independence generally fades right away when problems arise. I very politely try to ask my neighbor to spend $1,000 to trim a tree on her property that has grown over my house. The right storm could send it crashing through my roof. Someone complains that I allow my guest to park in my yard. (I won’t get into it here, but I will simply say that there was a reason – that is not my normal plan of action.) We may each have our own plot of land to call home, but our actions affect each other, and sometimes we have to say something.
But this geographic intimacy also, I believe, strengthens a community. I don’t consider myself nosey (maybe I am), but I do notice what’s happening on my street. We’ve called police at least three times when we witnessed teenagers trying to break into abandoned houses. I’m generally aware when kids on my block are home alone or being watched by an older sibling, and I tend to lend an eye as well. The proximity also allows for simple, natural ways to interact and show care for each other. Birthday balloons on a mailbox lead to a conversation about a cousin’s birthday party. A rare and exciting Atlanta snowstorm spurs my neighbor to bring my husband and me cupcakes while we build a snowman. The presence of fire fighters next door urge me to follow up with my neighbor, who tells me she accidentally covered a hot lamp with a blanket and started a small fire. These developing friendships come because we’re neighbors and we’re ever present witnesses to the lives of those around us. And slowly, we begin to allow our lives to overlap and interact together.
When I consider these relationships in the context of ministry, I see that our neighbor status is very important. Some of my neighbors work too much and are too busy to get involved in meetings and outreach events. Still, I see them on a regular basis and look out for those moments when we can know each other more. And I have a neighbor or two that are actually quite difficult to get along with and have left programs when they had friction with others there. But they can’t get away from me – I’m right down the street. They still have to see me and interact with me… and I with them. And these relationships stretch me… and them.
Thinking about neighbors in this way reminds me of the value of relational ministry, like what Mission Year team members do. It’s hard to calculate. It’s difficult to pull statistics on how many hours were spent doing “outreach” or how many people were affected by your “ministry.” It’s living life together and keeping eyes open to where the Spirit is working in your life and in your neighbors. It’s seeking to be available. It’s seeking to be a Christian of integrity who is consistent in their behavior, attitude, and actions at home as they are in church. Sometimes it’s messy… okay, maybe a lot of times it’s messy. But it’s authentic, and I believe it’s what Christ has called us to do: to love our neighbors as ourselves.
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