Stevie Neale's Blog
Will You help me be new? / 09.18.09, 08:35 PM
This week was nuts. Orientation in Philly every other day; writing, copying, and stuffing over 80 newsletters; putting together our picture scavenger hunt presentation; hanging out with our neighbors; running for the bus; waiting for the bus; going to my first day of school (where I’m assistant teaching math, Spanish, and web design…oh my goodness); driving a 10 passenger van from Camden to Philadelphia when I haven’t driven in nearly a month; Bible studies, City-Wides….Oi vay! But in all the crazy and the moments of stress (in which my wonderful roommate Ellen kindly threw my own words back at me, “change your perspective and think ‘will this really matter on Friday?’” Dang it.), looking back it was a very good week. I am so happy to be doing Mission Year. It is already challenging me in every way possible.
Many of you may recall my answer when people would ask what Mission Year was like, “That’s hard to say. I mean, I know on paper and in theory what I am getting myself into, but practically I have no clue.” I will tell you now, practically, I had NO CLUE. Community living, going outside and reaching out to my neighbors when I would much rather be a recluse, and wearing uniforms again for school after wearing them 14 years of my life at CSCA have been some of the more difficult things. But creating inside jokes with my teammates, playing music with them, discussing various thoughts and issues with them, going outside and playing with the neighborhood kids with them, sitting on the porch and chatting with Miss Pat and Joyce, our downstairs neighbor, Angel, taking our trash can back behind the building for us and offering to let us use his grill, my students joking with me and yet listening to me when I give instructions, and learning to see Jesus in all of the people I meet and sense Him in me have far overcome any of the more difficult moments. And even in the difficulty, I sense my deep need for Jesus and I am joyful.
Last night at City-Wide (kinda a worship/fellowship service for the Philly, Wilmington, and Camden teams), Caz had us all read parts of a book about leaving our old communities in the pursuit of new ones among the poor and oppressed. She reminded us that Mission Year is a gift to us; the experiences and identity we will gain here are a gift to us. She gave us all little gift packages we could make, then after each section of our reading she put something in the middle of the circle to remind us. A fence post, to remind us not to stand on the fence but to choose a side. An expectation, something we expected before coming that we needed to let go of, which we burned. A hope, something we wanted to learn or take with us this year. A block to remind us that God is building within and around us. A mirror to remind us that “living in community is like looking at yourself naked in a mirror. A birth announcement to remind us that God is birthing something new in us. We all voiced fears that we had about our old lives and things that were hard to let go of and sent them off as prayers. And we took these to remember that this year is a gift and that God is working something wonderful in us all. It was powerful and untraditional and amazing and I loved it. I think of the Sara Groves song in which she says, “God is doing a work in me. He’s walking through my rooms and halls, checking every corner. Tearing down the unsafe walls and letting in the light. Will You help me be new? Will You hold me to the promises that I have made? Will you let me be new? Forgive my old self and my old mistakes? When I feel condemned to live my old life, remind me I’ve been given a new life in Christ.”
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